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Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Dora's Corner: Supporting A Cause...To Boycott Or Not To Boycott (And Do We Really Need To Ask)!

...Lately, companies that are anti-LGBT anything just anger me.  My partner and I therefore choose to boycott companies such as those.  Anything that is against who we are is not something that we need nor want in our lives.  Places like Chick-fil-A, Hobby Lobby are such places.  For those very reasons and for not having any type of support or a mere inkling of compassion or understanding is why I, also, ban the catholic church.  Sara is officially an Atheist and has been for several years.  She is the most intelligent person I know for such a stance.  I wish I could be more like her.  A war with G-d is one which I have yet to wage.  Believe me, I have plenty of reasons for such a war, but in the end, I find that it would just not be worth it.  I am not sure how I feel about religion, but I have managed to keep my spirituality in tact.  The other stuff will eventually get fixed--or perhaps not!
Anyway...Sara and I have several friends and some family members (mostly on Sara's side of the family) who support us without question.  The family members and friends we have, plus those who are also members of the LGBT community, follow suit with certain boycotts of ours for obvious reasons.  At the end of a very long, tiring day, why should any of us put up with nonsensical opinions of others.  Having a dislike of LGBT persons is as bad as disliking people based on their color/ethnicity.  If you are not LGBT, then you have no idea how difficult it is.  And before I continue, it would be remiss of me to educate--or to remind everyone--that being homosexual is NOT a life-style.  Being LGBT is who we are. 
It is a difficult life as I have mentioned, so being (openly or not) part of the LGBT community is something that we have learned to cherish, guard and protect.  If you do not like us, that is your right, but do not impede upon our rights.  We have a right to gather, live and to shop anywhere we want to without having to put up with haters.  In these United States, if you own a store, restaurant, team, anything that requires an ownership, you need to be ready to be open and accepting of every person you want as a customer, employee, etc...  You cannot decide to go back 'pre-1964' and think that you can verbally place people at the back of a bus because once you start judging others, and you think it is 'your right' to publicly bash them, then that is when a group of people can boycott you until your place of business shuts down.  I am aware that most boycotts do not lead to the closure of certain businesses, but it is our right to never patron there again.  Even if likes of Chick-fil-A or other businesses change their views (in public, that is) regarding LGBT persons, Sara and I will never again eat there.  It is a matter of principle, and if you do not have any principles, then we do not need or want you in our lives.  Lest we try to even get you to understand.
Sara's family has always been supportive of us and they boycott establishments that are anti-LGBT.  We also have dear friends who do the same.  Before I continue, let me add that all of us boycott anyone/anything (no just LGBT-haters) that hinders the rights of others and shows a disdain of anyone because of who they are.  Personally, I wish I had stronger family members with the same honor-system and convictions to boycott these places.  My late mother supported us, and in turn, boycotted with us.  Many of my family members do not know the real story behind the reasons that mom had for boycotting the places/people that she did.  Several of my family members would never be able to deal with the truth so I keep it between just a few handful of people.  Bottom line is that I know, and that is the only thing that matters.  I had a terrific, rare relationship with my mom that my family and most others do not understand.  Mom was my friend, mother, protector, supporter; we shared a bond, a kinship, that I have yet to see shared in any other mother-daughter relationship.  I cherish it, and I do not feel the need to injure or blight others with that fact.  The last thing I wish to do is to cause hurt to others.  If I told family-members these truths, they would crumble.
With that said about not wanting to hurt others--especially not family--then why do you suppose that certain family-members wish to hurt me.  Saying that they support me and love me no matter what is no longer acceptable.  Showing such support is the only way to prove their love, loyalty and allegiance.  Going forward, all family members who know of my boycotts of anti-LGBT establishments is going to have to choose a side.  They will either choose to continue to patronage these places or lose me.  I would never support anything or anyone who was against someone I love so why should I accept anything different from family (rhetorical).  I should not have to accept it.
When my family invites me to places (i.e. Hobby Lobby, Chick-fil-A) knowing why I boycott them, they should be ashamed.  I accepted such an invite not long ago by a sister to go with her to Hobby Lobby, and I ended up being very disappointed in myself.  I respect her as a sister, but it is apparent that she does not respect me or such a thought, much less the audacity to say it out loud, would have never entered her mind much less spewed from her mouth.  As well as being disappointed in myself, I lost much respect for my sister that day, and the entire ordeal just made me sad.  If I do not insist on getting respect from a sister, who knows my LGBT-plight, then I might as well not expect it from anyone else.  So, for that reason (and hundreds more), I refuse to be quiet and mindful when I am invited somewhere that does not approve of who I am.  I will also not be so kind when others keep patronizing anti-LGBT places, and especially when they admit it to me in a nonchalant-manner. 
And please spare me the reasons why you do or do not boycott certain establishments.  I assure you that the reasons you have are not like mine.  I boycott for reasons that obstruct my rights as an LGBT person.  Your boycotts are not done, I am certain, because it is hindering your right as a human being, as an American, etc...  Your boycotts are against establishments that do not share in your convictions.  Boycotting places like Sonic Drive-In because of their pro-choice views (or whatever) is clearly not the same as boycotting Chick-fil-A or Hobby Lobby who do not like homosexuals.  Sonic is not threatening or impeding on your rights nor are they treading on your beliefs.  I might admire you just a tad for your boycott if I knew that you were against any establishment that infringed upon anyone's rights and incited hatred.  The latter commotion is exactly what Chick-fil-A and Hobby Lobby did.  They incited hatred and tore people against one another.
The Chick-fil-A issue against the LGBT community created much strife in my own personal life.  Certain cousins of mine came at me with a vengeance via Facebook; cowards that they are--they could not do such in person and to my face!  Luckily I had many FB friends who came to my defense.  In telling the story to some family members, most were appalled and even threatened to confront such cousins.  I said that they did not need to defend me so they did not go forth with defending me against these cousins.  Had roles been reversed, you better believe that I would have defended my family member no matter what! 
Anyway, months later, after the Chick-fil-A written-thrashing I received, after getting FB de-friended/deleted/blocked, you would think that the family members, who knew about all of this CFA-controversy, would have my back...but they DO NOT!  They still eat at Chick-fil-A (and shop at Hobby Lobby to add) without batting an eye and without hiding the fact.
It is like they have no shame or honor or for sure they lack loyalty.  If that is how they feel, then I am not just disappointed in them, but I am disturbed and disgusted by their actions.  One day you will know how it feels to have someone/something dislike you just because of who you are.  Remember me when it does happen.  Remember that you did little or nothing to support me when I endured such dislike simply because of who I am and who I love.  Remember that you were one of the people whom I loved.  You should have supported me completely when others were bashing me.  If you find yourself alone, after you are bashed for whom you are, remember how you did nothing to support me...remember me!
Just my take for the day!