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Wednesday, November 2, 2022

Boof of D: Celebrating Day of the Dead / Día de los Muertos

Our university is once again going all out to celebrate the traditional Mexican holiday: Día de los Muertos. Today, I am remembering my loved ones whom have passed away. Mostly, celebrating the lives of my late Mom, Dad, brother, nephew, and of course my cat. So, this is for each one of you.

Mama, you were born on a Monday, September 3, 1934. You passed away (much too soon) on a Thursday, November 17, 2011. I was with you the morning you started your beautiful journey home to meet your Maker. We called 9-1-1 when you took a turn for the worse. My heart broke that I was not with you as you passed away in the ambulance. Your heart gave out. Your little body was so tired. After all, you had been battling with so many health issues for such a long time. You battled with hypertension, rheumatoid arthritis, dermatomyositis, and esophageal cancer. Never mind the many, many years before when you worked so hard in so many arduous and laborious jobs. I never knew a time that you did not work. As for your myriad of illnesses, Mama, you never gave up till the very end. You kept up our spirits by showing us how a strong person moves forward through adversity. You instilled sublime values in us and always, always showed us unconditional love. You passed away one week before your favorite holiday: Thanksgiving. It was so hard to celebrate it without you, but we did so for you; 'we were not going to start disappointing you now,' we all thought. We gathered at your beautiful home and celebrated. We laughed as we shared memories of you, and of course, we cried. Our hearts were so broken. As for myself, I felt such an emptiness, loneliness, and heartache; unlike anything I had ever felt. My stomach hurt and my jaw ached. I knew my sisters were feeling the same way, so I tried extra hard to be there for them that day. I even made sure we celebrated my sister Eva's birthday - as we always did on Thanksgiving since her grand day falls on the 25th. This might sound cheesy and blasé, but I have had people ask how long it took me to get over my mom's death, and my answer always has been and always will be . . . "as soon as I do, I'll let you know, but don't hold your breath." Personally, I know I will NEVER get over losing my dear, beautiful Mom. ¡Como te extraño, Mama!

Papi, you were born on a Thursday, October 24, 2918. You passed away on a Thursday, August 18, 1983. That was the first day of my junior year in high school. My life changed forever on that day. Life changed for all of us that day, dad, especially for mom. I wish I had had more time with you, dad. I didn't get to spend as much "quality" time with you like my siblings did, but we were on our way. Weren't we, dad? Life had other plans and although love was in abundance, time was not. You were so young when you left. I know it's not your fault. I have no one or nothing to blame for that, so I think the anger that plagued me for years is why I had such a difficult time letting go of people and things that weren't really right for me. I am grateful for the although too short 17 years I had you for my father, and I especially give thanks thart you instilled in me a virtue to love myself and avoid those who did not. Sometimes it took me a while, dad, to escape those people, but eventually, I figured things out. I miss you so much, Papi.

Rudy, Jr., my only brother, you were born on a Monday, March 5, 1956. You passed away on a Saturday, June 26, 2021. My brother, you, too, passed away much too soon. Although we were estranged for so many years, the last part of you life was most meaningful to me as we were trying to make up for lost time. You left behind a loving wife and three young men whom have all done amazing things with their lives. I know you were very proud of your family. Your family had grown exponentially during the past couple of years, and it was evident how much your wife, sons, and grandchildrten meant to you and how much you adored them. I miss you - I miss the "what could have been." It is similar to when we lost dad because our relationship was just beginning to rekindle when your Maker came around to reclaim you. 

Philip, Jr., you were born on a Friday, June 13, 1980. You passed away on a Thursday, May 4, 2000. My dear nephew, you were more like a son to me, OMG, how it hurt when you died. I can still hear my brother's-in-law voice when he called to tell me that Philip "didn't make it." You were such an amazing person. I was always so proud of you. No matter how tough life was, you were stronger. I still envision you as a little boy with that cute crew cut who loved wearing cowboy boots and hats. You were so shy. As your grew into a young man, your innocence remained unadulterated by the ills that often consume others. You were very mindufl of others. Your love and respect of your mom, dad, sisters, grandma, all of us (your family) remains with to this day, and I often use you as the litmus test when your cousins bring home a date and such. You left behind big shoes to fill. You were my first Red Raider buddy. How fun it was to have gone to our first Texas Tech football game together in 1995. You, Rudy, Erica, and I had a blast. That is the memorty I mostly carry with me these days: the fun times. I miss you like crazy, Mijo.

Caty, my precious Maine Coon kitty. You were born on a Sunday, April 15, 2007; you "rescued" us in August of that year when you chose us to be your forever home. You passed away on a Monday, August 29, 2022. Your "mama" and I were with you, so was your aunt Josie and cousin Alex. We all took turns loving on you. The look on your mama's face is emblazoned in my memory as are her cries as you took your last breath and your heart beat for the last time. You were the best fur baby. You were never rambunctious or wild. You were so cool, calm, and collected. Your character made us feel safe and serene. Experts says your tranquil nature was because you were in a loving home with caring human parents. I agree to the extent that the love and respect was reciprocal. You are missed every single day, my Caty. You left such a huge gap in my heart. I'm not going to try to fill it. I am living with it and using my wonderful memories of you to carry on as best as possible. I miss you like the deserts miss the rain.

Tuesday, November 1, 2022

Book of D: Adult ASD, Introversion . . . or Just Socially Awkward

According to the Healthline website, social ineptness and social awkwardness do not stem from mental health issues; in actuality, there is no diagnostic criteria or solid definition for social ineptness and social awkwardness. It's just a feeling (or a collection of feelings and experiences) that forms a pattern in a person's life. As a matter of fact, social ineptness and social awkwardness are merely failures to notice certain social cues that causes these feelings and experiences. 
There, the awkwardness of the medical definition is out of the way. Now, it's my time to rant about my personal issues with social ineptness and social awkwardness, especially when it pertains to my newer coworkers (newbies). First of all, none of them really know me. The ones who knew me best retired, are on medical leave, or went to work elsewhere. To be fair to the newbies in our department, they have not had the opportunity to get to know me. I have probably not done enough to get to know them. I can be a little monosyllabic or even curt without me really noticing it. As I have gotten older, my pretenses have lessened - meaning that I don't like pretending that I like someone or something just to fit in with the rest of the crowd. I'm a GDI (i.e. a god-damn independent). I march to the beat of my own drum these days, and I am unapologetic about doing so. As for the comment I made about being fair to my newbies, I was telecommuting for a while, so I haven't been working on campus very long. They joined the department during my work-from-home stint, so they all had the good fortune of getting to know each other fairly well and bond - without me  I'm still in the early phases of acclimating; therefore, I reckon I am actually the newbie. Hmmm. Anyway, stupid covid caused me to become more of an introvert than usual. 
I opted to stop working from home when I graduated from grad school, so when I did return in-person to campus this Fall (2022), our department had new people, new faces. I was excited - but guarded. Still, I missed working from home which elicited the horsemen-of-obstinance to arise in me (probably more like a jackass), and it caused my anxiety for new people to soar. Mainly because I don't like small talk; I have never reveled in it. In fact, I loathe it; unless the person likes a lot of the things that I find of interest or is disposed to partake in profound topics that engage me, I would just as soon avoid the person. I do better in one-on-one conversations, which is why I love being a counselor. Don't get me wrong, all my new colleagues are actually really nice people.  However, a couple of them can be loud. And, I don't do loud. I abhor it and concede that it is more of a character flaw. I don't know if they realize how loud they are, but it makes me uncomfortable. I have a low and quiet voice; I don't like having to go too many decibels to be heard; it is unnerving and upsetting when I do. Because I view being loud as a flaw, it makes me not want to be part of it, so when I do raise my voice or reach a near scream, I feel like a fool. I usually picture myself as Sheldon Cooper: he didn't like or do loud either. LOL. On a side note, 
I think Sheldon was autistic (or compulsive) despite the Big Bang Theory producers and Jim Parsons saying the Sheldon character did not have autism spectrum disorder (ASD). I beg to differ that Sheldon was probably on the cusp of the spectrum or compulsivity range; after all, Sheldon did have issues with germs and numbers, and he possessed the "precision" thing that we see in ASD and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Sheldon, like myself, was socially awkward, but his character leaned more toward possessing social ineptness. I am not inept. I actually do notice other people and take my cues from how they talk and act, and I oblige as appropriately required - or I gently walk away after the obligatory salutations and valedictions. I try not to offend others, but when I am in my element (i.e. writing or reading or even doing algebraic equations for fun), I can seem quite standoffish and probably rude. 
All this talk of social ineptness and social awkwardness reminds me of a funny story that dates back to 1998 when I started working as a district manager for a marketing / merchandising company. During my 10 years with the company, they held our annual national conference(s) in Detroit, Chicago, or St. Louis. 
This one district manger from Louisiana, during my first conference, told me she thought I was either mean or snooty. I was taken aback. I had to do some light PR work to clear the air and get her to realize that I was actually friendly (and funny). During my second conference, I distinctly remember the company chartering a bus for all the district managers, regional managers, and account execs to visit our headquarters in Taylorville, IL (before they moved it to Minneapolis). We had a great time during the bus trip; lots of bantering and getting to know one another went on, and when it came my time to introduce myself, I provided a short bio, people were engaged at everything I shared. When I finished recounting bits of my life, one of the regional DM's said, "Dora, you're so friendly. Since you started working here, I just thought you were a snob or a bitch." She was a sweet, older lady who was known to be a smartass and to cut up from time to time. The bus grew quiet; I sensed that some people tensed up after she told me that, so I just started laughing, and everyone else on the bus busted out laughing, too. Several people took the liberty to tell me how they were afraid of me or thought I didn't like to be bothered, etcetera. LOL. Two things happened for me on that day. One, I was relieved that my colleagues liked me after all (I went all Sally Field receiving her Oscar: 'I can’t deny the fact that you like me. Right now, you like me!'); and two, I learned to stop telling myself stories (CBT 101) about how others might not like me. The experience provided much insight for me, which helped me start interacting more with others. I transcended in interacting with others and being extroverted. Move ahead almost a decade, covid came along and screwed things up. Sadly, it not only killed millions, but it took away people's autonomy, freedom, and security. For me, covid made me become introverted again to the point where I craved working alone. I still liked to do the fellowship thing and hang out with family and friends, but when it came to work, I just wanted to be left alone to work the voodoo only I knew how to do, and I excelled at it. 
So, now we are surviving (hopefully beating) covid, and I just have to keep things in check and not be so hard on others, especially when I have not personally held out an olive branch or made the first move to get to know them. Ultimately, I cannot expect others to know me and be mindful of my own character flaws if I haven't made the first move to get to know them on a personal basis; not just work and career. 
Well, folks, that's my rant for the day. It is the final day of Samhain (Oct. 31 - Nov. 1), and although we are not farmers or Wiccans with bonfires to light, sacrifices to make, or livestock to slaughter, we are university staff with lots of students to help. I am glad I was able to write this today during my lunch time. 

Monday, October 31, 2022

Book of D: HAPPY SPOOKYWEEN

It's Halloween and our university loves to go full force in celebration of it. There is an individual costume contest, which I did not enter, and a group (departmental) room decorating one. Our department opted for the celebrity insurance theme. These days, we are bombarded by tons of commercials set forth by this country's not-so-wonderful insurance carriers and underwriters (and yet, millions upon millions are not insured or underinsured) . . . Oops, Tangent. My bad! Anyway, for our department's insurance theme, I decided to go as Limu Emu and Doug from Liberty Mutual Insurance. I even managed a like and a comment from the Liberty Insurance people on Insta. My colleagues donned the following: John as Gecko from Geico; Stephanie as Dr. Rick from Progressive; Amber as Flo from Progressive; Isaiah as Jake from State Farm; Jashon as The General from the eponymous co.; and Diana's baby was Maxwell the Geico pig and her puppy was Mayhem from All-State. 
It has been a riotous day. Admittedly, our team started out early; we began decorating our area yesterday (Sunday, 10/30/22) . . . après the Dallas Cowboy's game, of course. Our student workers, Isaiah and Jashon, actually started really early on Sunday. John and I waited after the game to join in on the decorating. Stephanie was flying back from Austin (TACUSPA Conference) and Amber had family over, so they came later. Stephanie left early but bought our student workers food from Raising Cane's. Amber also left early but not before doing a wonderful job painting where needed. The rest of the guys and I stayed late, but the three of them stayed about 30 minutes after I left. John masterminded the entire decorating project; he envisioned what he thought we should have, and we made it come to fruition, somehow. 
It was tiring. John is a colleague; he is the UTPB Coordinator of Military and Veterans Support Services, but these past couple days, he has worked us harder than our own boss (LOL), Corey, who is the UTPB Assistant Vice President and Dean of Students. John is a good guy and an excellent coworker. We have a wonderful team. Soon, maybe next Spring 2023, we will all be moving to the second floor of the Student Activity Building (SAC), and we will be part of the Center for Student Belonging and Inclusion; Diana is the director; the rest of us will remain coordinators with the two guys staying on as our student workers. This is most likely the last semester we will celebrate holidays in the Falcon Center. It's all good in the neighborhood!

Wednesday, October 26, 2022

Book of D: A Dream Within a Dream

I had a hard time waking up this morning. I have been on jury duty since Monday, and it has taken its toll. We were in court until almost 7 pm on Monday, and I had a difficult time going to sleep later that night. Before I left, I was told to report at 9 am on Tuesday, then on Tuesday, I was told to return on Wednesday at 9 am. I am uncertain yet if I will be asked to return on Thursday; the clerk said I was to call the automated number at 7 am tomorrow (Thursday) to find out. In the past, I was exempt as a student and caregiver to my Mom when she was dianosed with dermatomyositis, so I have not served jury duty for almost 10 years. I think they are going to abuse my duty to civic service to make up for all that time. LOL (or not LOL). All I know is my sleep pattern is screwed up and probably the reason for the hair-raising dreams. 
Anyway . . .
The dream from which I awoke this morning was disturbing. It took place in another location; a location that I have often dreamed about in other dreams. Those dreams are kind of dystopian.
The buildings and streets remind me of the movie Brazil (1985). Ergo, a dream within a dream. 
This morning's dream was about demonic-like male twins in their early 20s. Each one hauntingly beautiful with rugged facial featues, tall and toned, dark hair, light skin, but the way they looked at you was diabolical. They kept following a group of my friends and me around the apocalyptic city. As for my friends in the dream, I am not sure who they were; they are not people I hang around in real life (whew). Well, maybe one of them kind of looked like a classmate of mine from grad school, but I am hesitant to confirm. The twins had the power to take over a person's body by way of entering it through the mouth, slowly devouring the body until it was all consumed, then the body would implode and evaporate. Much like a vampire when it first dies of exposure to the sun: it burns and explodes into dust. These twins were scary looking. I wish I had the talents of Stephen King to better describe my dream in finite detail because the dream had me shaken for a long time after I woke up. I don't even know from where the dream originated as I have not watched a horror (or even sci fi) movie in days. I was frightened in the dream, too, because we could not evade the twins. At one point, one of the twins stopped showing up and the other twin (I call him the lone twin) became more powerful, almost omnipotent. He could find us wherever we went in the dream; the nihilist city was abandoned (like it usually is in my other dreams) and only my friends and I are driving around in it desperately trying to lose the one twin - but he keeps finding us. Each time the lone twin shows up, he manages to overtake one of us. Sometimes he will possess the body, other times, he will vanish with the body or do a "jeepers creepers" and dismantle the body right in front of us. It's disgusting what this evil twin does. I recall one point in the dream when a friend and I are the only ones left, we are driving like mad in that frightening city, escaping the maniacal twin, and we arrive at a point that is extremely familiar to me (because I have dreamt of it before), and I say to myself, "please, not this place, don't let him find us here." It dawns on me that the exact location is the same one in my previous dreams where I usually find solace. I recall waking up to a 6:00 am text from my spouse (who is in Austin with her employee for a DPS work trip). I tried to make sense over the disturbing feeling I had, and then it hit me, the dreams I usually have of the dystopian city are not scary or menacing; the dreams are usually me driving around and looking at buildings I find beautiful. So, by having this city pop up in today's dream, it was threatening the very place that I normally find peaceful. I think I fell asleep again at some point while trying to reconcile the dream and feelings; perhaps it was like a reverie. I could see myself in the evil dream silently shouting and freaking out because my city of solace was being invaded by this evil man, this lone twin, and we could not lose him. 
A movie even reared itself in the dream. Not a movie I had ever seen, though. I think it was the lone twin from hell who trapped us in a theatre room where the movie reel was playing. The lone twin was holding us captive and making sure we watched the gory flick. The movie was about a hospital and some of the nurses and doctors who work there. Moreover, the dream explicitly revolved around three nurses. Two of the nurses had finished up their shift and were going to a party. The third nurse (the person I think was my former classmate) was pulling a double, and upon finishing up her shift, was leaving for a vacation at a beach coast in another country. As it turns out, both of the twins were in attendance at the party. The twins killed several people, and it was horrible; the dream didn't fail in being blood- and gore-packed. My friends and I were scared as we watched the movie because we knew the kind of powers the twins had, and they were inescapable. We watched in horror as the party goers tried to escape and how each one was cornered and massacred. The two nurses were the only ones who managed to evade the wretched twins, and for unknown reasons, the nurses end up driving back to the hospital, and they start telling their story to the other nurses and doctors on duty. 
One of the nurses asks if they have never heard the story of the twins who died in the hospital. All heads point toward her, and no one answers as if to convey that, no, they have never heard that story. The nurse explains how 55 years ago, the hospital was built on property that belonged to the twin's elderly, sickly maternal grandmother. The city took the property without just cause and demolished the decrepit house. They paid the old lady way below the market value of the property. This made the old lady more ill than she had been, and she ended up in critical care in the hospital. Upon hearing of this, the twin's mother, who was also in poor health and had been estranged from her blood family for years, drove to see her mother in the hospital, which was over two hours away. Along the way, in her car, the twin's mother thought about how her husband had forced her to cut ties with her mom, dad, and entire relations just a few short months following their wedding. She thought how unfair it had been for him to do that to her, but mostly, she was disgusted with herself for letting it happen and for allowing her sons, the twins, to grow up not knowing her side of the family. The mother starts feeling fatigued, which happened often since she became ill. She was halfway to the city when she gets a sharp pain in her side, and she screams in agony and loses control of the car; the car plummets over into a 100-ft ravine along the dark, desolate road. The ravine is especially flooded with water during this time of the year. The mother dies on impact, but her car would not be found for days. The twins are in another state in college when they learn about their grandmother's fate and that their mother has gone missing. Their father moved out of the house after their mother got sick, so they know they cannot rely on him for news of their mother's whereabouts. They are frantic with worry and the next day, they decide to drive back home and then to the city where the hospital is. They plan to take the same route their mother would have taken in anticipation of finding her themselves. You see, the police and state troopers haven't been able to find their mother or the car. The brothers stop at different locations along the way where a car could have driven off or pulled over, but they find nothing. With each passing hour, the brothers are overcome with fraught because the chances of finding their mother alive are decreasing. It has been an extremly cold winter, and even though it has not snowed yet, the strong winds and frequent rains have made for a thick haze, which makes it hard to see too far in the distance. The brothers make the drive along the same route, five times in two days. They do not go to the hospital because the nursing staff has told them that their grandmother has not had any visitors since she was admitted, so they are sure that their mother never arrived. Plus, the police searched the hospital parking lot and the surrounding areas and have not found evidence of their mother having arrived at the hospital. On the third day, the twins decide to make the two-hour drive once again, but this time, they are going to the hospital to meet their grandmother. It takes the twins several hours to arrive at the hospital because they have taken their time and stopped at different locations that they might have missed the other five times. The twins are overwhelmed at seeing their grandmother; their mother looks just like her. The grandmother is in a coma, so the twins cannot talk to her, but they each go to oppostie sides of the bed and simultaneously hold hands with her. The twins are overcome with grief and regret remembering what their mother lost upon marrying their father. The twins, at the same time, feel a pain in their heart, and they know . . . they know their mother was gone forever. They cry like they have never cried, not caring about being silent since their maternal grandmother cannot hear them. The twins stayed with their grandmother the entire night. She passed away in the early morning. The twins felt alone. They felt betrayed. They were angry. They heard the story about how the city had robbed their grandmother of her home and how it led to her being hospitalized. The twins became enraged as they spoke about the domino effect the city caused. The twins came up with a plan: they were going to burn down the hospital at night. They had been beaten by their father almost each day until they were old enough to fight back, so they did not have much respect for others. The twins were hardened by life. The only love they knew was of their mother's, and she was gone now. Upon getting things ready for the fire, one of the twins climbed into the elevator shaft to tamper with the brakes. He knew that elevators should not be used during fires, but he counted on the fact that people do stupid things when panicked and that someone would surely try to use the elevator. If they did, they would die, too. He did not want anyone to be able to escape the fire. Meanwhile, his brother (the lone twin) was in the stairwell making sure the doors at each floor level were unable to be opened. The twin in the elevator shaft tripped and became entangled in the steel ropes. He hit his head as he fell, the rope gripped his ankle and kept him from falling. As he awoke, he saw where he was; he panicked and reached up to try to grasp the rope, but he was too weak and disoriented. He thought about his brother and hoped he would come look for him. The lone twin was finishing up with breaking the last door on the first floor when he heard the elevator start up. He got mad thinking his brother had not dismantled the elevator system, it was the only job he had to do, and he had clearly mucked it up. He took the elevator to the penultimate floor and scanned the halls for signs of hospital staff or visitors. He then pushed the button for the floor below without getting in the elevator. He listened for the bell that would sound the arrival of the elevator to its destination and opened the doors. He could not see his brother, but he heard moaning so he quickly jumped down onto the top of the elevator car. He got on his belly and checked over and around the car. He finally noticed a foot; his brother's shoe. His brother was tied up in the steel cables. The lone twin found a loose cable and used it to rappel down to help his brother. Just then, he heard the elevaror motor start; oh, no, someone is using the car again. It was after midnight, the lone twin wondered why in the hell were so many people up and around in the shitty little hospital so fucking late at night. Just as the elevaror reached the floor it was bound for, the remaining cables holding the elevator car started to fray - until they broke. The elevator car dropped and the twins were killed. The nurse stretched the story by saying that legend goes that the brothers were so concumed by hate and evil that it not only caused their own deaths, but it sent them straight to hell where they would dwell for all eternity; killing those they were unable to kill when they were alive. The nurses and doctors looked in horror as the nurse ended the tale. They were unsettled and creeped out. The movie then cuts to the nurse at the beach. She is painting by the seaside and decides to stop and return to the hotel for dinner. The movie shows her getting attacked by the lone brother in the elevator. The movie ends at the hospital with the nurse's friends and coworkers crying as they learn of her death, the nurse storyteller has the last say, she says, "it's damn ironic that the two nurses escaped from a certain deathtrap and this other nurse died in a far away place where it was supposed to be safe and peaceful." The movie in my dream ends, I revert back to the frightful dream. This is the point where my friend (the last one left) and I get into the car and end up driving around, all panicked, in the streets of the dystopian city where I once knew only serenity-filled dreams. 
It is late right now, and part of me is still disturbed by the dream. A dream within a dream. What does it mean? 

Tuesday, October 25, 2022

Book of D: Adidas Ends Biz with Ye ("mpossible Is Nothing")

 

All I have to say is that it's about time. Adidas might lose millions after cutting ties with West, but I'm sure they'll make up for it. Besides, those "Yeezy" shoes are just plain ole butt ugly. If Ye were a shoe, he'd definitely be a Yeezy. Lol. Other companies to cut ties with the controversial West: CAA, Balenciaga, JPMorgan Chase, Vogue, Gap, and MRC is shelving an already completed documentary about West. Urban and Rap are two of the many music genres I love, and I must admit that I started off being a West fan when he became popular. West was a brilliant rapper, song writer, but his 2009 on-stage intrusion and rant against Taylor Swift, during the MTV VMAs, was abhorrent and left a bad taste in my mouth toward him. I'm not really a Swift fan, especially not in 2009, but she didn't deserve the chiding that West bode against her. Regardless if he apologized, his true character was revealed. West seems to be a narcissistic person. Narcissistic people, much like West, usually secretly self-loathe and have self-esteem issues, which is why they ride the facade of vanity in hopes of hiding their true vulnerability; depression is also often known to plague putative narcissists. As I've stated in the past, West is more than likely afflicted with mental illness, but it's no excuse for his vile and vitriolic actions. 

Monday, October 24, 2022

Book of D: Rest in Peace, Leslie Jordan

 Well shit! That's exactly what Leslie Jordan would say after learning of his sudden demise. I loved every character he portrayed.

He was so sassy and funny. He always made me laugh with his witty and colorful humor. He was an ally for many people and groups. He cheered on the overlooked and jeered at the gatekeepers. Jordan was not just a member of the LGBTQIA community, he was a leader for us and helped make us part of everyday life. He helped normalize the Rainbow Family, and we have become mainstay. I wish I had met and known him; somehow, today, I feel like one of my good friends has died. News of his death seems surreal. My spouse knew how much I liked Jordan, the actor and advocate, and she texted me as soon as she found out he had died in the car accident. I was partaking in my civic duties, jury duty, so the tragic, heartbreaking news made its way to me late in the day. I will remember Jordan's wit, charm, and sass every time I watch him on Call Me Kat, when I watch reruns of Will and Grace, and as I recall the myriad of other characters he played. Jordan may have been a character actor, but as I see how celebrities and fans around the globe are reacting to his death, it's evident that he was an "A-lister" whom was extremely loved and will be terribly missed. Rest in peace, sweet human. 

Monday, October 17, 2022

Book of D: What's the Matter with Ye (and Adidas)

That's a substantive question, D! Really, what the fuck is the matter with Ye (the not-so-great artist formerly known as Kanye West)? His antics these past years have been atrocious - at best. West's social media fanbase has paved the way for his narcissism because, since joining Twitter, West has racked up nearly 10 million followers. I would say that most of the so-called fans are probably following him just for his ridiculous rants, but that is no reason to follow an ignoramus like West. But, his fanbase is not alone in the culpability of giving West a break. The bulk of the shame goes to retail powerhouse Adidas who merely states that their business relationship with West is "under review." Their response about cutting ties with West is all of bullshit based. Adidas, you know what West has said and done and how he has been subversive . . . so, why are you still giving him a get-out-of-jail card? Adidas, you really need to hurry up and cut ties with this odious person. What more proof do you need, Adidas, to rid yourself of such a negative alliance; your current stance is kind of defeatist. West has not only bashed slaves by saying that slavery was a choice, but he has walloped modern-day movements such as Black Lives Matter by antagonistically wearing the provacative "White Lives Matter" shirts. 
West has also created a lot of controversy and indignation amoung the philosemitism idealogues and Jewish community with his antisemeitc fulminations. Surely a company like Adidas can do better by partnering up with a more "woke" celebrity. Is this negativity really the kind of promotion and history Adidas wants to create for itself? And shame on anyone who stands behind the idea that West's mental health is the cause for his cynical rants and exploits. Mental health does not work like this. For the most part, mental health affects a person in such a manner that he usually just becomes diffident and introverted. Mental health issues do not obstruct a person in such a manner that he becomes outspoken and cruel en masse like West has done. As a counselor, I am not saying that West's battle with bipolar disorder is not real, but I am saying that he needs to acquiesce that he has a mental ailment and get the rest and help required for proper management of said disease. And, Ye, man, stop being so cruel to others and start utilizing some long-overdue self-respect. No one can make you out to be a joke; you have done that . . . all . . . by . . . yourself.

RE: Kanye West Escapes #314389 By NEM0 on May 17, 2018

Sunday, October 16, 2022

Book of D: Logophiles and Bibliophiles Are US

In all honesty, my readers or reader 😁, words are truly beautiful - as are books. I have always had a lisp. I remember attending elementary and being bullied because of my lisp. Never mind the fact that my lisp was a direct result of having been born with a cleft-palate defect. My lisp often dictated the kind of day I was going to have. If I had to talk a lot, my lisp would get further impeded by a stutter. That freaking stutter still stifles me to this day. Because I hated talking aloud or making speeches to large crowds, writing and reading became my world. I could go a few days without reading, but my mood would be hindered something awful if I went more than one day without writing. I am not the best writer in the world, but I have won a few essay competitions and always did really well on essays and research papers while an undergrad and grad student. One of my graduate professors would often praise my writing and ask if he could use my essays and research papers as an example for his grad students to use. The professor is known for his difficult expectations as far as grading goes. I had him as an undergrad for psychology courses, and as a graduate student, I had the prof for COUN 6372 Counseling Theory, COUN 6373 Career Dev. & Counseling, and COUN 6387 Pharmacology. All are very structured with finite meaning and terminology. I received an A+ in all his classes, respectively, my grades were 98.90, 98.64, and 96.34. I took Statistics with him, too, as an undergrad and received a grade of 103.85 (his extra credit was not easy to obtain, but I did it). I did well as a non-traditional student; most of the group work and assignments saw other students wanting me on their team because they knew I would be dedicated, hardworking, and serious. Plus. it is a known fact that older students tend to care more about a good GPA and making good grades. I relished my time as a student. I loved the many hours of reading, writing, and researching that was required - if you wanted good grades. None of it really scared me because I never lacked in self-assurance when it pertained to reading and writing. But, when it came to speech courses and public speaking, I suddenly got all stupified and I usually stumbled. I am not as scared or tortured these days of public speaking especially because my current job often mandates that I conduct presentations to large groups of students and their parents. Plus, the countless times I had to student-teach and lecture during grad school helped me to become a better and more calm speaker. Still, I prefer to write. My dream job was to be a writer for Saturday Night Live (SNL). I know it is very competitive to be a writer for shows like SNL and other Hollywood based shows, but I really think I could have succeeded at it. I would have even loved my own syndicated (or not syndicated) column like the one Carrie Bradshaw has on Sex and the City. While I do regret never having pursued life as a professional writer, I still find great pleasure in writing. Whether I write for myself or provide content writing, I love it. Maybe one day I will become the next Stephen King, Anne Rice (rest in peace), or J. K. Rowling, but for now, I will bask in the beauty within the writing realm and spew out written words, my own or those learned from reading the hundreds of books that took me on no expense vacations. I will keep dreaming up words and using them in proper context (or not), and I will appreciate my love of everything reading and writing because as long as I have the ability and adoration for the both, I am rich. 

Saturday, October 15, 2022

Book of D: Who Needs "That"

Several years ago, my English 1302 professor (Mr. E.) and I were working late at the MC English Language Hub; we were helping students with basic grammar skills. Some students were having issues with formatting essays (MLA, APA, Chicago, etc.), writing styles (persuasive, narrative, expository, and descriptive), creating a thesis . . . yada, yada, yada. As the night progressed, my professor and I grew tired and weary from the many students in queue for help. We took a break to munch on the different types of pizza his wife, also an English professor, had ordered for the staff and faculty. Mr. E and I laughed at something someone else said, and we started talking about how people use certains words way too much and incorrectly. One of those being the word that.
If I remember correctly, the topic stemmed from something written by the one and only Purdue Owl. First, it’s important to know when that is really needed in a sentence. This word frequently attaches dependent clauses to independent clauses, and it is strictly necessary if a clause begins with certain subordinating conjunctions, such as before, while and in addition to. That also should be used before clauses that clarify a noun. I know, it sounds dull, monotonous, and perhaps even elitist, but bear with me as I explain in layman's terms. The word that is kind of disruptive if not used properly. It is a chalkboard scrtach to several of us - kind of like those of us who love the use of the Oxford comma. Using that incorrectly is not a violation of the many grammatical rules, but it really does make for a well-written essay and such if used properly (sparingly and lovingly, too😉). For instance, if you say, "John was talking about the truck that he had just bought,' then you are using the word that where it is not needed. Reread the sentence without that, "John was talking about the truck he had just bought." If the word that does have to be used, it would be because of a sentence like this one, "The idea that John would be talking about his truck was funny." If you omit the word that in the same sentence, the syntax and meaning are disrupted, "The idea John would be talking about his truck was funny." See how awkward the latter sentence sounded without the word that. Whew, I am tired again like I was that night Mr. E. and I ate pizza like weary little workers while nerdishly talking about one simple, little word. Lol. Words are beautiful, and they really do matter. WORD!!!