Self-Indulgence: Simply...Thinking of You!

Thinking of you, thoughts of you so provocatively innocent

If only you knew my heart and who I could be

Maybe it would envelope your heart with the love I have

I would gladly give it and ask nothing in return

Only wanting to listen to you, to see you, to tell you

Words are blocked by a lost soul that just wanders

Not knowing your world seems blasphemous

Being allowed to linger would be best, but doubtful

For the moment I remain enraptured by thoughts of you

Maybe one day my dreams might awaken a certain truth

The truth is what I have always feared, for you are so far away

Must it remain that way, such trepidation to never know

You are often so close, but my heart deems you linger too far away

The unknown is what truly terrifies the essence of me

That you see me and find emptiness as your heart seeks another

I remain your secret aficionado and protector of innocence

One day perhaps clouds will guide your way to forever see my heart
Time always the enemy...I remain silent and still...still thinking of you

Dora's Corner: Plagiarism Story Continued: Literary Pirates Invade the College!

So, the story does continue.
Last week, before the morning lecture began in English class, the prof told us that some students had plagiarized, and that she was extremely disappointed at the fact that it had occurred.  Frankly, dear prof, this person was just as disappointed (perhaps not severely as you were) at those handful of lazy and aloof students.  Not only did their fragrant act of plagiarism hurt them, but it hurt the prof, and their fellow classmates [us] who arduously work at learning how to properly cite other people's work.  The basics of citing is not so difficult to learn.  IMO, it is another English-writing art-form that can and should be learned.  For those of us moving on to other courses that require a lot of writing, learning how to properly credit others for their work is extremely important.  For those not moving on to courses that will require them to learn how to properly cite, they need only think of plagiarism this way...if you wrote a song, painted a picture, created a tatoo, or anything which involved hard work, and was solely your property because you -- and you alone -- created it, you would be extremely pissed off (*) if someone took it as their own and proclaimed that he or she had created it.  And, might I add that I used the word "pissed" in the preceding sentence because, chances are, that the people who do not think twice of stealing other people's property (and a written work of art IS tangible, thus, property) are probably the type of people who understand things when it involves the usage of an expletive.  Pardon my blunt-force usage of this thing called physiognomy or the judging a book by it's cover, but if you steal someone else's work, I strongly disagree that much, if any, respect is due you.
Anyhow, the English prof appeared as if she had lost her best friend upon the announcement of the plagiarists in our class.  There were many of them, which further added to the disgust and disappointment!  I do not believe that the act of plagiarism should be noted as a reflection of the prof because she is an excellent instructor who takes time to teach each student in her classroom how to correctly write essays and how to cite other people's work.  She offers each student an opportunity to meet with her in her office or in the writing hub/lab.  Furthermore, the writing hub has plenty of other highly-qualified tutors and (convenient) hours of operation through-out the week for anyone interested in getting extra help.
Personally speaking, my writing skills have improved through my own hard work and sweat with the addition of working with the prof whenever I could, and by taking advantage of the hub.  Frankly, it is beyond me why students do not take advantage of any lab because our hard-earned tuition has already paid for the usage of several labs.  If sporting events were paid for via one's tuition on a community college level, such as it is on a university level, then students would take advantage of the opportunity.  So, why not take advantage of the labs when you (or your parents) have already paid for them [rhetorical].
I would no soon steal someone else's literary piece than I would steal something in a store, and I would no soon put up with someone else stealing anything from me either.  I would especially not put up with anyone stealing my own literary art.  I would seriously hurt someone for that.
I plan on speaking to my prof about this.  I mainly want to convey my own appreciation for everything that she has done for each of her students [includes moi], and that the lazy and careless students are not representative of who we are holistically as a class nor of who she is as an individual and a great instructor.  She did not fail any of her students, but rather, a few jerks in class failed her.  

Dora's Corner: The Art of Matriculation! Then Comes Winter Interim!

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.” 
― Bernard M. Baruch
...Well, the end of the fall semester is just days from being over.  "Finals Week," is almost upon us; however, there are a couple of classes that allowed students to take their final this week.  So, that's two down for me, but two to go.  And, let's just say that the angst, that is accompanied by the torture of preparing for exams, is hitting everyone hard; for me, it is especially hard.  Not because of the studying required, because I can "hang" with the best of 'em, but because of those damned feelings I have been experiencing - the freaking melancholy.  I am taking an honor's online course this winter interim, and I am excited for that; however, it does not really replace the actual interaction one has with other students and instructors.  But, as I like to say often: "it is what it is!"
Regarding the winter course, it is going to be difficult because it is going to go fast, but I knew what I was getting into when I was asked to sign up for it...and when I agreed to it.  If I do well, then good for me (and kudos to the awesome prof who is teaching the course), but if I fall flat on my face, then no one is to be blamed but me and my stupidity and overreaching ways.  #ROTFLMAO
I will be writing a research paper for the interim course.  I love to write so it will be fun, but it will be equally challenging as well because I have to start the research first by assuming the role of an instructor, per se.  I have to come up with a survey, questionnaire, or form of communication with one student from each of the four courses I was enrolled in this fall (including my fall flex course).  I was fortunate to have gotten the full cooperation of four students who I think highly of...not only because they are serious and studious, but because they are well-rounded individuals who appear to have their act together (my English prof would end up with an ear worm (sort of)  if she read that idiom I just wrote...it's all good - it's just a blog, which is why I am also using contractions...my bad, dear prof.).
I must admit that the last student I needed from the computer-related night class that we took together, well, she was the most difficult to get to agree to this.  Not because she did not want to at first, but because she is quiet, perhaps reserved, and because she did not accept my previous invitations to partake in group activities away from class (mostly study group activities).  I love talking to people, and maybe the fact that I am too chatty made her leery of past invites.  Again - I must say: "it is what it is!"  The only thing that matters is that she is on board now, and she has especially complimented the awesome group of students who will be making the winter interim research paper easier for me to get through...knock wood.
Life is good, people are good...when you have the opportunity to have both, take it, and enjoy the hell out of it! ~ D.D. Carey

Self-Indulgence: Simply...Missing You!

Missing you, dearly missing you.

The time is drawing nearer and no more seeing you.

Oh, but we have only spoken a few times.

But that one special glance was all it took.

I know you know me, but do you know how I feel.

I doubt that you do, you hardly ever reply.

I’ve tried reaching out to you, but my pleas you ignore.

Am I just someone you see every day as you stride by.

Or am I someone you equally like but also cannot approach.

I long to be near you, to see you, to hear you.

I stand alone, silent, never talking, never seen, never close enough.

I don’t know what to do anymore, I am lost.

Maybe fate decreed that you not be a part of my world.

It makes me weak, breaks my heart, and makes me somber.

I will let you go, though sadly, you were never mine.
But I wish you forever love and always to be well.

My days without you won’t soon be easy to cope with – not at all.

For you are not in my life as I had hoped, not even for a stolen second.

One day maybe we will meet again – I do not know - I can hope.

Time cheats us...I continue missing you, dearly missing you.

Dora's Corner: The Nightmare That Came True: The Two Wrong Shoes!

...You know the nightmare: you are in your underwear in front of a crowd of people...maybe at school, at work, or somewhere public; you are wearing the wrong pair of shoes, one is brown, one is black; you are at the wrong location for an important meeting or event; you arrive to an important event really late; and the nightmare scenarios go on and on and...  Why do you suppose we have these dreams.  I am by no way trying to get psychological or trying to interpret dreams.  I am basically asking a rhetorical question about nightmares that have plagued all of us at one time or another.  The  answers vary if you ask different people about nightmares.  Some say they are because a person is feeling unaccomplished, alone, scared, nervous, etc.  My guess is that we experience these nightmarish dreams because we are feeling insecure.  Let me elaborate with a hellish day I just experienced.
Last Friday, I woke up a little later than usual (my drive is long as I live across town from MC).  I almost put on two different shoes, and almost wore a shirt that needed pressing before cognizance set in.  I was tired, but ready for the weekly test in English that morning.  I got to campus with ten minutes to spare so I studied a little more.  This week we finished the definition rhetorical mode, and began on the cause and effect (causal mode/chain) mode.  At the onset of the test, I almost wrote about the wrong prompt, but I caught myself in time to correct my f--- up and ended up getting a 100.  
After English, I tended to some important matters before I ended up at the computer lab.  I like doing my assignments that are due on Monday mornings the Friday before so that I can focus on the other computer assignments during the weekend.  Well, this particular Friday I was feeling restless.  Maybe due to being tired, but I was missing someone.  Yes, missing someone.  A person I would like to get to know and talk to, but the person "throws me to the doggies" (lol).  It is more than that.  I just needed to be around other people.  I stayed on campus and went to the LRC (library), met with a professor, then ended up in the computer lab until I just could not focus so I left.  I had an essay to turn in for English so I thought I would finish it at home later.  I also needed to eat.  
I get home and eat; I watch some tele (Covert Affairs cause I LOVE me some Piper Perabo - ahh), too.  I almost fell asleep, but since I have never liked napping during the day, I got up to finish that essay.  I looked for my jumpdrive, but it is nowhere to be found.  It is not in the usual security of the small pocket in my jeans, it is not in my saddle-bag, it is not on the butcher-block, it is not on the floor anywhere, it is not in the car, it is not in the garage...then it hits me: "you left the damn drive in the g-damn computer lab!"  Panic sets in because the lab closes at 2pm on Fridays, and it was already 3:30.  I think about who I can call.  I have a friend who knows someone who works at the college, and I also have a dear friend who teaches English there, but then I decide that this situation calls for immediate and personal attention, if you will.  I tell  myself: "you need to get your ass in the car and drive there and make someone open the g-damn door!"  That is what I did, but I was nice about it.  I have learned that you do, in fact, catch more bees with honey.  The professor whose door I knocked on did not have a scan card to open the computer lab, but she suggested I call the campus police.  She had a lot of papers to grade, but she was gracious and understanding enough to get the police phone number for me.  The police dispatch employee was nice as was the officer who showed up and unlocked the lab for me to retrieve my jump drive.  The nice computer lab person, whom I have befriended, thankfully left the drive by the computer where we sign into in the lab so I grabbed it and kissed it. I would have kissed the officer, too, but he is so NOT my type.  LOL.  Aside from the important essay that was due later that night, I had so many important files on that drive.  I would have been in a deep pile of ---- had it not been in the lab!
I got over those feeling of being sad and somber (melancholy - there's that word again).  It is funny how an event can get you out of a slump and make you rethink how lucky you really are.  Anyway, I came home and finished the paper that had been eluding me for completion since it was assigned three days ago.  I worked on some other assignments, and I had to make beaucoup phone calls.  Each time I spoke to a person, if he or she mentioned that they had had a bad day, I brought up my day and the eventful scavenger hunt to retrieve the jump drive.

Dora's Corner: Rewards: The Perks of Going to College!

Going to college is not just about taking courses and getting good grades, it is also about being social and making friends - hopefully you will make one or more good friends that you will have for the rest of your life.  My niece, who is enrolled at MC as I am, and I spoke about the topic of why people go to college: the different classes, the things we would change, the things we liked, our ambitions, our ups and down, etc.  Mainly, we highlighted the feelings that each of us was trying to overcome lately; the inundating feelings of melancholy.  I brought it up because I have not really been able to talk to many people about my feelings, not just the feeling of melancholy, but of some weird association of feeling like I am losing something special.  Maybe I haven't learned the art form of not allowing myself to get so attached to people and to things.  Maybe I just need to check myself and be more realistic; however, at the end of the day, I like who I am, and that I cherish things and people as I do.  Once you have lost as much as I have in my own life, you will learn the other art form of appreciation.  I do not overwhelm others or myself by caring too much, but I do put a lot of effort into anything I do or any relationship that I form.  
Each day that we get closer to the fall semester coming to a close, I do not rejoice, instead I get a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.  Is it crazy for me to feel like this! (rhetorical)...  I am almost embarrassed to talk to other people, especially classmates, about how I am feeling because it seems that the more I am saddened about the semester almost ending, others are overjoyed about it; furthermore, some are overtly anxious and are counting the days until the fall semester draws to a close; to most of the overly anxious, college has become blasé and cumbersome.  Shame on them is all I can muster for now.  
I am so glad that I brought up the topic when my niece and I were riding back home from having watched the wonderful opera, Il Barbiere de Siviglia (Rossini, 1775), yesterday afternoon.  My niece drove while I basked in the comforts of her new car loving the new car smell which still permeated the interior of her beautiful car.  My bad....I went off on a tangent...  
Anyway, it was nice to finally talk to my niece (a.k.a. fellow MC student) who basically shared the same sentiments of melancholy that had been plaguing me lately.  We spoke of the wonderful professors whose tutelage we were (respectively) privileged to have been a part of this semester.  We also touched upon the many classmates that made us laugh and made some of the more difficult courses easier to deal with when the study material became arduous and demanding.  Of course, we delved upon the special classmates who provided more than humorous entertainment and study-group time, we spoke fondly of the few mates who we will miss dearly; those who provided an actual friendship to us when we needed it the most.  My niece agreed with me that she had made a couple of good friends in certain classes of hers - as I had done.  However, neither of us is certain if we will keep ties or communication with these people, we would like to, but as with so many things in life that have two sides, what we want may not coincide with what the other person wants.  In other words, we may want to keep a friendship going; however, they might not.  Simple math 1+1=2, but with people, that formula gets tossed and the end result is as vague, vast, and uncertain as is infinity ∞

Dora's Corner: Undocumented Immigrants: They Should Do What?!!

Okay, it is time for me to get on my almighty soapbox, but believe me, this rant is well worth my time in writing it, and hopefully the time of whatever audience this blog generates.
While waiting for a meeting with a professor, I overheard the prof talking to a student, actually, the prof was tutoring (or trying to tutor) the student.  The topic that they were reviewing from the student's essay involved undocumented immigrants.  The student kept referring to them as "illegals" while the prof kept trying to get the student to change the wording.  Regardless of the student's lack of empathy for the negative and difficult position which undocumented works find themselves, she should have at least refrained from using such derogatory language for the academic audience for which essays are written...
The student argued with the prof on several stances.  The prof was getting agitated, but I have to give the prof high praises for keeping her cool and still getting her point across.  The prof was merely trying to explain the rhetorical method and proper writer's craft to the student, but the student was too hell bent on insisting that: "those illegals need to go back to Mexico"..."they are mooching off the government"..."they are taking all the welfare benefits from Americans that need them" (BTW, dear student, people from Mexico are Americans)...and lastly, the most typical, over-used, and incorrectly used assumption: "those illegals are taking jobs from us in the United States."
The student is suffering from a naivete that I won't even try to justify with a reply or a debate.  The student needs to read about the causal effects and why she needs to avoid the rhetorical fallacy, hasty generalization, personal attack/loss of audience, questionable authority, false analogy, either or fallacy, red herring, slippery slope, stereotyping...all the wrong things that one should avoid while writing in the cause and effect mode, well, this student managed to incorrectly include many of the "don't(s)" in her essay.  No wonder the prof seemed a bit perturbed when she tried to explain what the student was doing wrong (the student hardly did anything correct, it seems), and how to fix it for an academic audience, but the student was not listening.
It took a lot for me to keep quiet.  I wanted to lash out at the student for incorrectly stereo-typing the undocumented immigrants because there is more behind why people from Mexico are in the United States.  The area is vastly gray; however, the student just saw black and white (another incorrect process in an essay).  The other thing that upset me was how the student kind of disrespected the professor.  I like this professor; she has taught me a lot, and I have enjoyed our conversations in and outside of class.  I respect the professor because she has gone to college and put in her time towards becoming an educator; she has earned the right to be respected and treated well.  The prof is younger than I am, but that does not matter to me...she should be respected.  She never disrespects others - even when other people act like asses.  Another reason I stayed quiet was the obvious, the conversation was between a professor and a student, and did not include me.  I mainly stayed silent in respect for the professor - not the lame student, with the one-sided point of view that had no rhyme or logic to whatever rhetorical mode she was incorrectly trying to argue.  Give me a fucking break, ignorant student.  
BTW, I can use the personal attack...it's my blog, and I'll attack if I want to.  #ROTFLMAO!

Dora's Corner: Youth Is Wasted on the Young: Wishing I Knew Then What I Know Now!

I agree with the adage by the mighty George Bernard Shaw: "Youth is wasted on the young."

Lately, I have come to question many decisions I made in my life beginning from when I was in my 20s.  I made some terrible decisions, but still, the good ones outweighed the bad ones.  The biggest regret was not finishing college at Texas Tech.  Those were wonderful times, yet, they were often muddled with clouds of uncertainty and fear.  Those, my friends, were my obstacles, if you will.  I have had some really terrific jobs/careers which afforded me the ability to travel the U.S. and Canada.  It also afforded me the ability to see the country sometimes with loved ones in tow, who in turn, also got the opportunity to see several parts of our beautiful country.  The pay was always substantial (in abounds at times) and that is all I need to say about that.  My regret has little to nothing with how much money I have made; monetary issues are obsolete in this point I am trying to make; however, I do regret that I did not take up other opportunities that I had along the way through to the maturity level of today.  That sounded weird, but I am going with it.
If the youth of today (20s) had the ability to travel forward into time, the ability that unfortunately none of us has, then they would see how taking things for granted and not pouncing on certain opportunities would be something they would well regret.  Had I had a time machine (oh, Jules Verne: Où étiez-vous avec vos idées de science-fiction!  and Isaac Asimov, the same question: Where were you with your sci-fi ideas?).  
Sure, I am back on track after several years to complete a certain educational journey which long eluded me or rather I eluded it.  I am back in college for the umpteenth time, but this time things are extremely different, and with God's help (I'm really not that religious, but I acknowledge His existence), I will succeed this time around.  
One piece of advice to the younger crowd at MC, stay in college, get a degree and definitely allow the world to be your oyster.  Do NOT be stupidly stupid, arrogantly arrogant, and for certain, do NOT believe that you know more than anyone else.  I can assure you that you are not intelligent the minute you close yourself off to the idea of learning from others.

Self-Indulgence: The Commandments Do Not Have Amendments...Yet!

This morning our government class has its first major test of the semester.  It was actually a unit test which covered several chapters.  I studied my brains out for this test, and I believe I did okay.  It was four pages in length, and it took me about 15 minutes or so to complete it.  The test covered a lot of topics such as how the Texas Government functions and such, but the part of the unit which captured my attention the most was the amendments section. 
Our Texas Constitution has a lot of amendments in it.  It contains more amendments that the United States Constitution does.  It really fascinates me how an amendment can be proposed so quickly; however, thanks to the "checks and balances," an amendment does not get ratified so quickly.  In fact, only Texas voters can actually approve an amendment once it makes it way through the legislature. 
Anyway...I met Sara for lunch this afternoon, and we exchanged details about the highlights of our respective mornings.  Her day had so far been fairly monotonous despite where she works (she works for the Texas DPS as a Field Compliance Auditor and Classroom Instructor).  My day had been a little more eventful especially due to the government test.  I worried way too much about the test, but this a.m. as I began filling out the answers, I could not believe how easy it was.  Actually, it was not really easy.  I was able to complete it rather quickly because I prepared for it.  I took advantage of every available moment I had to prep for it.  Sara also quizzed me on it several times, and at times, she reworded things.  I am grateful to her for rewording certain phrases and facts because the questions on the test were not worded the same as in our textbooks nor the same during our lectures. 
Anyway, back from my tangent...Sara and I spoke about our state government, state officials, amendments, Texas history, and such.  BTW, Sara is a Historian; she has a Masters in Texas History so she lights up anytime she has the chance to talk about history.  At one point during our discussion (in between eating the awesome Mexican food), we both agreed that people love to make changes to rules and laws in an attempt to try to benefit their own situation and/or cause.  I added that in Texas, this is especially noticeable due to the 474 amendments to the constitution.  Sara chuckled knowing all too well how bureaucracy within the state government works (does not work sometimes).  I also stated that it would not surprise me at all, if one day, someone tried to amend the Ten Commandments.  Yes, we both got a big laugh out of that -- mainly because it is closer to the truth than most would want to admit.

Self-Indulgence: Extra, Extra...Read All About It!

Any chance I get to earn extra credit in any of my courses I have taken, but government has been the course in which I have earned more of those credits because I enjoy partaking in anything related to politics.  I have already attended a couple of events on our beautiful campus with my professor and a handful of other students.  One of the events was a town hall meeting, and our respective State Senator (district 31) was the guest speaker. 
Earlier this evening, Sara and I attended another awesome event with Vicente Fox and his wife Marta.  Mr. Fox is a former President of Mexico. The lecture (part of a lecture series at Midland College) and Q&A lasted about an hour and a half, but it was well worth it.  Mr. Fox had so much to talk about and so much to teach us, his neighbors to the north, and I hope many attendees listened as carefully as Sara and I did.

Self-Indulgence: The A, B and Cs of College: Alright, Better, and Crazy (in a good way)!

College has been going well.  It has only been about four weeks since I began my trek back to the land of higher education, and I have no complaints.  My classmates have been awesome, and I have managed to make some friends.  I have even become part of some study groups, but I have yet to try to get involved with any social clubs.  Maybe next semester I will delve into the world of social clubbing, but for now, I have my hands full with all my courses.  I am only taking 14 hours this semester, plus, I have officially declared my major to be in ATS/IT with the intent to receive a BAT.  The other non-computer classes are only going to enhance the knowledge I already have, respectively, and it has definitely been worth while for me to have returned to college. 
I want to add that all my professors have also been outstanding, friendly, inclusive, and a joy to be around.  They each have such different teaching techniques, which I love and appreciate.  Their different personalities and teaching styles have helped me learn to adapt at becoming more flexible with my own style of learning.  I have taken time to become acquainted with all my instructors.  I may not have done as such in my youth, but at present time and present age, I want to get familiar with them.  I want to give them the opportunity to get to know me, too.  They are so lucky.  LOL.  It is all good. 
My computer professor is a riot, but she is extremely knowledgeable in computer programming so I try to pick her brain with questions as much as possible.  My English professor is also fun to be around.  She has helped me improve my writing skills so much in just the short four weeks of being in her class.  My grammar has also improved along with my MLA.  Soon I will learn APA and maybe Turabian for future history classes.  My algebra instructor has helped me improve my mathematical skills more than I ever thought possible.  She is also an excellent teacher, and has a lot of patience and empathy for all her students.  Last, but not least, is my government professor.  He has a PhD in history, and he is extremely knowledgeable in all things government and /or politics. I really enjoy my discussions with him before or after class.  I especially like the discussions we have around other students because I like to see how they all interact.  It serves as a reminder that none of us knows everything, and that we can always learn something different if we allow ourselves to do so.

Dora's BIZ Corner: An Evening At A Seminar!

...Tonight was the much anticipated business seminar.  Sara and I were sent special (V.I.P.) invitations.  The business gurus leading the seminar are people whose business prospective strategies I have used for a long time.  As I have often stated, I do not have heroes outside my circle of family, but these people are as close as heroes might get--in my life.

I am so glad that we made this seminar.  We almost did not make it because of other business matters.  The topics covered were exactly two of the most intriguing topics that have captivated my attention for a long time.  We signed up for other work seminars and for a weekend training retreat.  I hope all of this leads to something positive.

Most of the topics, as I stated above, was not new to me.  The terminology was also well-known to me.  However, being able to use all that knowledge (old and new) is what I really wanted and needed to know.  It is like baking a cake.  You know which ingredients you need, but you are not sure how to mix it all together in a cohesive manner in order to garner the best outcome.  That cohesiveness is what this person requires in order to begin another venture in the real estate market.  I already deal in mortgage notes so this new market is kind of icing on the cake, per se.  I am now going to go full force with tax liens and buying foreclosed properties in order to flip for a huge profit.  I can do this.  I have been studying the real estate market for a long time.  At one time I even interned as a realtor.  It was short-lived, but I got a foot in and learned a lot.  It was because of the internship that I delved further into real estate. 

Real estate has always been a passion of mine.  Buying older homes, fixing them and selling has always been something I loved to do.  I am actually great at it.  Everyone who knows me knows that I always had a knack for building and fixing houses.  Bob Villa was someone I looked up to way before flipping got so popular.  Sure I love computer programming first and foremost; CP is my true career, but the real estate thing is what I would love to do on the side, and if I can become more successful doing that, then maybe CP will take a backseat. 

All I know is that I am ready to start on a path towards different, bigger and better.  Since I am already continuing my education in computer engineering, then this other real estate venture should not interfere.  I can do both things at once.  Just like I know that I will still have time for sports, politics, writing, etc...  It is all a new opportunity for me--a new day, if you will.  It is all good.  All I have to do now is to focus on what I have already learned and to be open to new ideas and to mesh it altogether to make lemonade.

Just my take for the day!

 

Dora's BIZ Corner: To Start A Business Or Not To Start A Business!

...Well, when a person has too many options/choices, making decisions can become difficult.  Too many choices is often not a good thing.  Personally, when I have too many choices I tend to get a little irritated.  But not like I did 20 years ago.  Through the maturity of my later years, I have learned to retain my composure, but there remain days when some people just bite through the very last nerve I have for them.  LOL (or not)!

Anyway, I have the opportunity to open my own business, and I am not certain what I should do.  I am still following through with my return-to-college, but if I open a business or go into a joint venture with family or friends (more options), then school might take a backseat, per se. 

I am not sure if I want to open my own franchise, go into biz with family, go into biz with friends or to focus primarily on college.  I really want to tweak my computer programming skills and maybe apply for a job with the government (Austin, TX).  I have seen several postings on different job sites for government-related jobs in programming, IT, system's administration.  Sara works for the government and often brings job postings home to me or she emails job links to me.  The pay is bar none especially when you consider the fringe benefits.  The benefits alone are outstanding as is the tenure-track.  I know that tenure-track is more for college professors and such, but the government offers such a thing, but it is called something else--the term eludes me for the moment, but, hey, no big deal.

Anyway, the government jobs are everywhere in the state (TX), but the best ones are at our state capitol.  Matter-of-fact, all 50 states offer excellent opportunities as does our fare state.  I would not mind Arkansas.  Sara and I have been to Little Rock several times, and the camaraderie we experienced there was awesome.  The best area to live would be North Little Rock.  It can be pricey, but not as bad as Midland.  Heck, there are not many areas that are more expensive than Midland these days.  Midland is probably the most expensive area to live in for the entire state of Texas.  St. Louis, MO is another area that we fell in love with during our vast and many travels.  If Sara had her way (and one day she probably will), we would be living in NYC.  She would live anywhere in the New England area; she loves the cold and the ocean.  Perhaps I should clarify that she (like me) prefers the Atlantic over the Pacific.  Sara loves the snowy weather so any state along the eastern seaboard starting with the state of New York northbound to Maine would appease my Sara.  I know I would be happy living in NYC.  We just do NOT want to live in the south.  It is not progressive enough for us.  I do not welcome the cold weather as much, but I do love the vibes that a big city has...I will live almost anywhere as long as I am there living a healthy and happy life with the love of my life--Sara!

The chance to move has never been within reach and probable as it is right now.  For a long time I have wanted to move to another part of the state or to another state; anywhere as long as we live in a large city.  I love and welcome the opportunities that large cities would afford us.  I am a family-oriented person so I did not rock-the-boat when moving away came up.  I simply acknowledged that one day I would be open to the idea, but for many years my family was too important for me to make waves and move.  I especially wanted to be close in proximity to my mom.  Mom passed away a couple of years ago, and it hit me so hard.  Words fail to describe what her death did to me.  I am slowly coming around to find some kind of normalcy (whatever that is), and I am getting stronger.  With my Sara by my side, I feel myself ready to begin yet another chapter in my life.

So, with all of that stated above, I now need to decide what that next chapter in my life will be.  I know that we do not always get to do what we had hoped.  Like the saying goes (paraphrasing): "if you want to make G-d laugh, make plans!"  I have so many options before me right now as far as a career goes.  I have always been the type of person who needed to have a career.  I regret that I often do believe that a career defines a person.  Maybe I do not look at others in that manner, but I set the bar rather high for myself, and I do require a career of some sort.  Family still being important to me, but having a career is right up there after Sara, family, G-d, etc...  I have a career now, but it is far from what I want for myself.  I want more--not just to make money, but to enjoy what I will do for the rest of my life.  Like the other adage goes: "if you do something that you love, then you will never work a day in your life!"

Just my take for the day!