Book of D: The 🧡 and Center of the Center

Earlier this morning, our division boss came over to our area so we could follow him to the Student Activity Center (SAC). As it turns out, the furniture for the new Center for Student Belonging and Inclusion (CSBI), which is housed on the second floor of the SAC, arrived an entire month early. The furniture arrived and was set up yesterday. The new CSBI is a beautiful area. It used to be the gaming room, but the decision to move the gamers to a new center at the library was made by the university; that new gaming area is going to be a cool area, too. It has been a long, arduous process to get the gaming room renovated into the CSBI. The staff that is fortunate enough to move there is very excited. The furniture is nice and new. The area just needs to be cleaned (swept, mopped, and dusted), of which I so eloquently (or stupidly) volunteered to be the "lead." Not to clean, which is okay because no one is ever too good to clean, it's an honest living. My vol task was to contact the account manager, of the 3rd party cleaning company the U contracts with, and request that they please clean the CSBI. Anyway . . .

So, to my sheer and utter disappointment, I will not be joining my cohorts to the new CSBI. My role as the UTPB Coordinator of Health and Wellness Promotion is taking on new duties. I'm not sure yet what all that means and entails. Our boss has not been as forthright as we would like for him to be with several of us. I guess being "in the loop" is above our pay grade. There are two of us at the present area who did not "make the cut," per se, and will not be following our other colleagues to the CSBI. Both of us talked after the walkthrough with our boss, and we each expressed our disappointment at not being included in the move to the CSBI where students will be made to feel like they "belong" and are "included." I guess the sentiment of "belonging and inclusion" only applies to students and not to staff. Yeah, that was me being petty and a smart ass. But, am I not allowed to be. After all, for almost two years, I was told that my programs would be a vital part of the CSBI. Two of the newbies are going to the CSBI. I'm not mad at them; their programs are definitely vital and should be part of the CSBI, but I also have the right to feel indignant and despondent over not being included in the move. I knew there was a time when my role would change, but it has not been made clear to-date, so all I know is that I will be moving to the 4th floor near the counseling area. My boss called me on my office phone yesterday and asked how I would feel about "taking Stacie's old office" - to which I politely declined. Rest in peace, Stacie, I respectfully do not want your office. Poor Stacie has barely been gone a week, and the boss is already making plans for her office. That's just not very kosher or cool. You pick which one, but for me, it's both. Plus, it's cynical, trite, and vile to move so quickly after a person has died. But, that's the kind of boss we sometimes have. While he is highly intelligent, knowledgeable, and ambitious, his managerial and people skills are severely lacking. I am happy for my coworkers who do get to move to the CSBI. I won't act in a negative manner towards them or around them. It is what it is. Life happens when we're busy worrying for others. Bottom line, it's dire that we keep all eyes open when working at a university because who you know is as important as the degree that hangs on your office wall. Enjoy the pics.

 

Book of D: Boba Fett & Boba Tea

Earlier today, UT Permian Basin hosted "Boba and Panel Chat" for International Education Week! The event was sponsored by our very own Center for Student Belonging and Inclusion; moreover, Stephanie, our Program Coordinator for International Student Services, served as the event emcee. It took place at the Student Activity Center (SAC) Starbucks Café at 10 a.m.. 

 

Steph was nice enough to bring John and me some Boba ("bubble") tea prior to the event starting. I love that Boba stuff. I asked her if Boba Fett would be at the event, and she just stared at me like 'I don't really know who that is?' LOL. It was funny. John took a while before he got the joke.

Unfortunately, all my fellow Star War's buddies work in other departments on campus, so my dry sense of humor, well, it remains so unappreciated. 😅 The event was nice. We had four of our professors on the panel. Each one from a different country with different experiences on how they journeyed to the U.S.. For the most part, each professor stated that higher education, though extremely tough at times, was the main reason they came to this country. I did some research following the event to see how having a PhD might help a foreigner obtain a green card, and I found some information on VISA Nation that explained it. The following was stated:

"While your Ph.D. does not automatically grant you a green card, you may find that many of the requirements for the EB-1A or EB-1B have been fulfilled throughout your studies. Things like exclusive memberships, scholarly published articles, and acting as a judge are all things that may go along with getting your degree" (2022).

So, I did further research because I wanted to know exactly what EB-1A and EB-1B meant, and it is extremely interesting. However, it is all much too long and not at the heart of today's blog topic, so maybe I will write about it at a later time. That's it in a nutshell, folks! It's time to make tracks.

Book of D: The Admonishing Wind

Today's funeral service for Stacie was quite somber but really nice. (Stacie's obits: Legacy & Sunset Funeral Home)

As for the weather, it was a fairly cold day with moderate winds blowing on and off. The temp during the service reached 49°, but it felt colder because of the winds. The winds were ominous to say the least. As if to warn or reprimand us in firm fashion, the wind could be heard from outside the funeral parlor. The mighty wind seemed intent on crashing in to remind us that we are mere mortals with absolutely no power. A clamorous yell through the mighty air prompting us that the power still belongs to an entity that we are not deserving to know - not now or perhaps never. The pockets of air were accompanied by a fire and brimstone eulogy that probably would have had Stacie herself scratching her head in angst and dubiety. I do not claim to know Stacie's relationship to G-d - nor do I claim to know her relationship with her family, I only lay claim to the myriad of conversations she and I had in the past that left me somewhat perplexed following the funeral service because she always stated that she was more spiritual than religious. Anyway, it is was it is, and the service was still nice as I stated. There were many people in attendance. Our division alone sported around 50 people in attendance at the funeral, which is not bad considering our division has around 80 employees. I was impressed and proud of how many of our "Falcon family" attended.

An email from Corey, our boss, went out on Sunday to let us know how we would proceed with Monday's funeral. Corey also had a "We Are Falcons" flag flown over campus Monday in Stacie's honor. Stacie's mom, dad, and some family members were given a grand tour Monday of the university before the funeral service - during the tour, the flag was presented to her family. I had the good fortune of partaking in a nice conversation with Stacie's mom before the funeral service started; she is a kind lady. I told her I was holding her and the family in my heart.

I will always remember Stacie as the vibrant and intelligent person she was. I had the privilege of training with Stacie when I moved from Student Success to the Dean of Students/Student Affairs. We had experts from UT Austin come up to train us in the area of BASICS and CASICS. Eventually, those programs, along with Bystander Intervention and the Tobacco Use Initiative, came to live with me, and me alone, on a permanent basis. Stacie, as the lone student counselor, believed the programs were punitive to her role, so I became the lone facilitator, and I have never looked back. On occasion, I would seek her advice, but most often, she would simply say, "you got this." Our times together on campus are included in the pictures. There were too many to include, so I am posting the really eventful ones.

Book of D: Flowers, Team Work, and Ambiance

I was honored to have been able to arrange for flowers to be sent to our colleague's funeral service(s). My team (the Center for Student Belonging and Inclusivity - CSBI) and I corroborated via Teams to get Stacie's floral arrangement. Each of us made suggestions and ultimately, we decided that this one arrangement would be the perfect selection.

I offered to pay for the floral arrangement upfront, and my coworkers did not take long, after I placed the order, to remunerate their respective portion via Zelle, Venmo, and Cash App. Honestly, I would have paid it on my own, but the point was to show a unification of sorts. It was also a show of support for one another as we commemorated the passing of one of our own. Team work at our university is in abounds; we truly care for one another, and it means so much - especially during times like this. There are so many events that we each have respectively held and had the support of the other team members. Holding events is part of our jobs. Each coordinator usually facilitates one or two events per semester, but we are fortunate that we can count of the rest of our division to help as needed. Coming together to buy Stacie's flowers was a small show of that unity and team work. There have been several fun events that we have all participated in throughout the years. The most important piece of assembly is that of creating a warm and inviting ambiance. I believe that by sending flowers, we not only provided the much-needed warm ambiance, but we helped facilitate emotional release. Moreover, we shared our expression of respect, sympathy, and love of Stacie to her mom, dad, sister, and the rest of her loved ones.

Book of D: Living Large

Whether you believe that "living large" means being able to afford lavish things, living off the government dole for months or years (because "you lazy, dude!"), or as the Urban Dictionary explains: ". . . being able to have a bigger shoe collection than most women," there is a lot to contemplate. For me, living large doesn't necessarily mean that you are filthy rich or that you have things you may not have had as a child; it encompasses the ability to afford to do things and buy things you could not when you were younger. Think of it this way, it is younger you against older you; no one else is involved (not even your parents or guardians and such). The act of living large is living a better life for yourself, so you are never dependent on anyone else. I started thinking about the meaning of "living large" while I perused through some online stores in hopes of buying a holiday cardigan (with a zipper) for work. I came across a website, and I loved their logo: the shaka, which is the hand sign for hang loosethat sold clothing. 

At first, I thought the website,  Living Large, was going to be a cyber meditation venue - but it was not, and it was indeed for clothes. The algorithm was spot-on for what I was shopping for: clothes. Or as the tech industry would say, the algorithm is correct when it delivers a tangible competitive advantage. Or was it really correct because the kind of clothing the webstore offered is not what I would normally purchase for work (lol), but it did get me to take a breather from online shopping, so I could be more present while my spouse's family is here visiting us for the weekend. Man, that was an all out kind of a tangent right there was it not? Perhaps living large should include having your mental faculties in check and not being a couple of beers short of a six-pack. LOL. Another damn tangent. 

Book of D: Holding Space

"Holding space" is a trendy phrase these days . . . but what does it mean? The definition of holding space is to be present with someone, without judgment. It means selflessly lending your ears and heart without motive or reciprocal expectations. Moreover, holding space entails the use of both empathy and compassion. 

With that said, my university division came together late Tuesday afternoon to "hold space" together at the Student Activity Center (SAC) after finding out that our colleague, Stacie, had died. I was unable to join them. I was off that day. Actually, I took vacation to perform my civic duties on both Monday and Tuesday as an election worker. I wanted to take an early leave from working the elections upon hearing that my colleague had died. The location I had been assigned to monitor (7 am to 7 pm) was not as busy as it had been in the morning. The other election workers there said I should leave and that they would be okay if I left - besides, they added, the polls weren't due to close for a couple more hours and voter turn-out was slowing down a little. I decided to stay and monitor my assigned voting location. One, it was my honor to be there as a certified election worker as I had taken the required courses, primers, and refreshers; and two, staying there would keep me busy and grounded. I texted my boss, Corey, and told him that I wish I could have been on campus to "share space" with our division. He said, "me, too." It's still so surreal that we lost Stacie. She had so much going for her. But, isn't that when life decides to cash in its chips: when you finally have your shit together? Yeah, that's a rhetorical question!

Book of D: Exasperated: WTF, Uvalde

While the survivors and surviving families of the Robb Elementary School victims and other gun control advocates worked diligently for months to try to create sound gun reform in Texas - which weighed heavily on changing governors, 60% of the Uvalde voters turned a blind eye, went rogue, and voted red. How heartbreakingly disappointing that more than 60% of the vote in Uvalde County went for Abbott.

Per Einstein's famous quote, insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. This adage is so true, and it would be indicative of Uvalde county, as a whole, if every single resident had voted to re-elect Abbott; however, 40% of the voters cast their choice and said "no" to Abbott. The 60% of Uvalde residents who voted for no change, well, they are the ones who are insane. I hope the 60% never has to experience the slaughter of their loved ones or of themselves because Texas can't get their shit together when it comes to guns. Although I never had children, I stand proudly as a member of Moms Demand Action. My thoughts and continued prayers and good karma continues for the victims and loved ones of the 19 children and two teachers who were killed by a lone gunman on May 24, 2022. My wish is that one day, they will get justice by way of gun control, or firearms regulation, in the state of Texas and on the federal level. 

Book of D: Elections and Death

Those damn elections! Well, I wasn't holding my breath that Beto would beat Greggy, but I was hoping my gut feelings were wrong and that maybe this would be the year Texas would smarten up and elect another democratic governor. The usual Texas metropolitan areas (Austin, Dallas, El Paso, Houston, and San Antonio) voted for Beto, but it just wasn't enough in the end.

The newest and latest republican-led plundering and pillaging of voting boundaries through district manipulation (a.k.a. gerrymandering) has not been kind to Texas Democrats. Those fucking republicans are vile. Unfortunately, the  rural areas are just too darn antiquated and ancient with their views and keep voting republican. Maybe next time, Beto. I was excited about Beto - as much as I was when Wendy Davis ran for Texas governor in 2014. It's 'whatevs,' Texas right-wing thugs. Davis is still and always will be a badass. She would have made an excellent governor; just like Ann Richards. I will always remember Davis's 13-hour filibuster. WOW! As for Beto, perhaps Texas is just not worthy of someone like him.

The part of today's post title about "death" does not at all have to do with the fact that O'Rourke lost to Abbott. You see, this late afternoon, the university where I work sent out an email to our division letting us know that one of our colleagues had passed away earlier in the day. My friend and colleague, Stacie Smith, passed away today, Tuesday, Nov. 8th, following complications from surgery.

Stacie's sudden death put things in perspective: although the mid-term elections were important, not just for Texas, life holds and will always hold more value. Stacie's death was a reminder of how life can change in an instant. I was in shock to say the least, and so saddened by the news. Stacie was the University counselor for the student population. Despite her position mostly being to serve students, it was not surprising that every now and then, several of us (staff, faculty, etc.) would don her doorway for banter that would eventually turn into questions or sharing of feelings (i.e. counseling). Stacie always tried to make time for people. Her and I were working with the counseling and psychology graduate programs to establish a UTPB Counseling Center next January 2023. Stacie and I were developing plans and prepping for the Center by getting familiar with the Titanium software and other components that would be essential. On a personal note,

Stacie helped me a lot when I was in the counseling program by posing mental health scenarios and asking questions that would help me better learn the different modalities of counseling and the DSM 5 (our bible). Moreover, she helped me make sense when the program head and I were at odds with one another, and Stacie was key in helping me decide to stay in the program when I was nearing my final academic year. Stacie went to bat for me when the program head was being difficult with me, and she put in a good word for me to said program head when she saw how dedicated and hard working I was being as a practicum student. Poor Stacie, she had just bought her first house last year. She will be sorely missed. Per my communication with my sisters, whom I shared the news of Stacie's sudden demise, I stated that the counseling program will be working even more diligently towards creating the much-needed counseling center. There are five of us working on this (including the program head and Stacie), and we were just talking about, before Stacie took medical leave, possible names for the center. I hope it gets named after Stacie. UTPB has named other centers on campus after ppl who didn't really deserve it, except they had lots of $$$ donor mula. 🙂 IMO, Stacie is deserving of a center bearing her name, and I can say that sans bias. Things weren't always golden with rainbows and unicorns between Stacie and me; we most certainly did not have a perfect relationship. Our association was at times muddled . . . we had our ups and downs. There were times that we disagreed - but never in a disrespectful or billigernt manner. I liked knowing where she stood on certain issues. Stacie told me she respected how I stood up for myself and what I believed in. That, my readers, is mutual respect, and I will miss that because there is so little mutual-respect in this quirky world these days. My word, how I will indeed miss my friend and colleague. The news was devastating to many of us - for me especially. I will hurt knowing she will no longer be just four floors away from seeing her friendly but often times tired face. She will no longer be just four floors away from bidding a quick hello - as she was often in a hurry - for obvious reasons. She will no longer be just four floors away for several of us to seek much-needed advice or in need of hearing, "it's gonna be okay." Rest in peace, Stacie.

Book of D: Higher Ed Pedagogy & Life Lessons via Lesbian Movies

I love watching movies. Whenever I want to self-indulge, I turn to old movies. I love em all . . . period pieces, black and white, foreign, war time, maritime - and subtitles are wonderful. I belong to the TCM Wine Club – Pairing Wine and Movies. I do more watching than I do drinking, which is good, I guess. Haha. I am a firm believer that regardless of a person's age (mostly a self-reference), the person should be cultured in many genres and forms of life and entertainment. For example with music, I was born in the late 60s, but it doesn't mean I should only be versed in music of my generation. Moreover, I should know music that pre-dates me. I am fortunate in that regard, having been the youngest in a family of eight (mom, dad, one brother, and four sisters). They each introduced me to different types of music and musicians. The same goes for movies, novels, comics, and even food: my family members were my first influencers. I like to think I have acquired a vast wealth of knowledge not just through my family, but through the different people I have met, jobs I have held, and the many travels and adventures I have partaken of in my lifetime. It would be really wonderful if I could take all of that knowledge and create a classroom where I could share and teach. More distinctly, I would love to teach others about the LGBTQ community through movies. Yes, through movies. I would love to share the movies as I saw them and was able to compare (and contrast) them to my own life. It would be invigorating to share how I took the different meanings and lessons from each movie and explain how I was able to learn from each one. I will list them, but I will not explain why - that is for another post. 

Some of the lesbian-inspired movies I would include in my course: 

Another Country (1984), Desert Hearts (1985), Maurice (1987), Fried Green Tomatoes (1991), The Incredibly True Adventures of Two Girls in Love (1995), Bound (1996), Fire (1996), Chasing Amy (1997), Gia (1998), High Art (1998), Lost and Delirious (2001), Kissing Jessica Stein (2001), My Summer of Love (2004), Saving Face (2004), Imagine Me & You (2005), I Can’t Think Straight (2008), Elena Undone (2010), Blue is the Warmest Color (2013), Carol (2015), Reaching for the Moon (2013), Tru Love (2013), Margarita With a Straw (2014), Jenny’s Wedding (2015), Duck Butter (2018), Lizzie (2018), Tell It to the Bees (2019), Ammonite (2020) . . . .

These are just a few lesbian-themed movies with which I would first begin the course. My list of LGBTQ movies is extensive, so if I were to include more than just the lesbian movies, the class would be neverending - to say the least. My preference is mostly because of my own personal association with lesbian matters (and affairs of the heart and mind, if you will). 

However, if I did have to pick one LGBT, non-lesbian movie, it would have to be Another Country (1984). I will explain, why I would include this movie in my course - in another post, as I stated previously.

So . . .  to each one of these films, I dedicate a special part of me that will never be lost or given away because of their paramount, cardinal meaning and inspiration. Memories deeply instilled of the different nuances of what love once meant to me and what it has come to mean at this juncture of my life.