Dora's Corner: Just Pondering: Why People Change and Why They Do The Hurtful Things They Do (1of2)?!!

     Here I go once again pondering "why?"  So many questions, and still not enough answers.  Even my curiosity for asking so many questions is a question, in itself.  Why do I have to know so much about things that should clearly no longer matter to me. 

     So...I ponder with why people change.  I know we all have to change.  I am not so naïve to think that change is not part of the realm in which we all live, and to which we eventually succumb.  I adhere to such an unwritten rule.  I realize that we, as humans, need change.  I especially agree with what the character, in one of my all-time favorite sci-fi movies, DUNE (1984), said about change;

Duke Leto Atreides: "I'll miss the sea, but a person needs new experiences. They jar something deep inside, allowing him to grow. Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken."

     I love that part/quote in the movie because it is so true.  I am not against the reason why people change as much as I loathe how they change.  Most often, as it has been my personal experience, some people do not change for the better.
     Many previous friends of mine have undergone such negative change.  That is okay, though.  If that is what they need to get through life, then it has to be okay; okay for them.  However, for me, if I have changed for the worse, then I hope someone lets me know.  If my change has been for the best, then good.  I just never want to regret that my change was bad.

     As I did change through the years, I hope that I never hurt or created strife for anyone.  Long ago, I admit that I was a hot-headed, immature person; seeking retribution was too quick and easy for me.  I have not been that revenge-seeking person in a long time.  I wish certain, previous friends knew me now.  I regret that they may only remember that odd, unhappy, and vengeful person.  I outgrew that person.  I reached a point in life when it was no longer okay for me to be spiteful and negative--so I changed.  With that change came much reward.  But such change also came much too late as I also lost a lot.  I lost friendships I once cherished.  If I could add change to my changes, I would want my friends back so that they could know me now.  I would want to wipe out past, negative memories they may have had of me.

Just one of my takes for the day (another one follows)...

     

Dora's Corner: Just Pondering: Why People Change and Why They Do The Hurtful Things They Do (2of2)?!!

.....Some change is good, but some is also so, so bad!
     The negative change of my ex is what doomed another previous friendship of mine.  Maybe I had it coming and my ex got her revenge by interfering in and ruining another friendship that I once cherished.  I have written about this topic many times so I will not get into much detail about it.  I just want to put it out there for that special someone, whom might one day read this blog of mine, and come across this (and the other posts), and know how deeply regretful I am that we could not continue our friendship all these years ago.  Whether I had a direct impact on the bad things that this other person did to you, to make you think it was I who did them to you, I sincerely apologize.  That is the best I have to offer you!

     I know why you changed back then, and why you decided to erase me from your new life.  I accepted it so that you could be happy.  I wanted you to be happy because it would help me to seek happiness of my own.  I left you alone as you indirectly wanted of me.  Only a handful of occasions did I reach out to you.  Not for comfort or solace as I had those things.  I just needed to hear your voice, and to know that you were still out there--listening to me.  I now know why you may have had such disdain for me all these years later.  Please just believe me when I say that I did not mean for you to be hurt.  I accept all culpability for everything that I did, but I cannot accept any accountability for the bad things someone else did to you just to spite me.  I have a difficult time expressing how disappointed I am that you could believe I would ever harm you.  Part of me is angry with you, and then there is the other part of me that could never stay angry with you.  I forgive you.  You no longer know me---especially the new me who wishes we could have remained friends.  I no longer know you either, but I do forgive you for being made to think that I had any ill feelings towards you or that I could think so little of you, and of our previous friendship, that I could do things to hurt you, to anger you, or to make you not want anything further to do with me.  I hope one day...  Not sure what I hope.  All I know is this simple passage: "I did love you once!

     Forgiveness is forgiveness, but hurt is still hurt.  Everyone hurts someone at one time, then they forgive.  Forgiveness might be the easiest part of getting hurt--it is the forgetting part that is difficult.  In ending, I would be remiss if I did not quote one of my favorite poets, Pablo Neruda: "Love is so short, forgetting is so long."

Just my take for the day!

Dora's Corner: Defying the Defiant!

     I am a defiant person by nature, and I must insist on my autonomy as well.  I like knowing that everything I have is because of my hard work.  I do always try to give (respective) credit to those around me, whom have assisted me in my accomplishments! 

     Lately, I regret to say, I have come to notice that certain people I know/knew, have changed in a manner that leaves a sour taste in my mouth.  They believe that they are better than me, better than other people.  They chide others while they wrongly partake in self-praises.  If they could throw parades for themselves, I am certain they would.  They have become rather crude, insensitive, much too prideful, always unaccountable for their negative actions and their juvenile-induced pride.  They believe that they have attained true success, although the entire time, they were riding on the coattails of another. 

If I ever become such a person, please someone slap me!

     Much of what I have done has been through much hard work; much sweat and many tears.  Many persons have helped me through-out my life.  Through my late mother's tutelage-of-life, I have learned to work hard and to study hard.  I am proud of what I have done.  I welcome all the changes, that must come my way, for me to continue being successful.  May it be via monetary means, love, family, with it all, may success continue to touch my life and never elude me.  The good L-rd willing--knock wood--may success always be one of my blessings!  May I always see my blessings and never take anything or anyone for granted.  May my pride never overshadow my life nor the people who stuck around and loved me without condition.

Just my take for the day!