ONION TACOS
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Friday, March 12, 2010

Icon: Does Anyone Really Know What It Means Anymore?


First of all, thanks to Sara for including my quote (verbatim) on her "Tortillas Quemadas Blog" as I wrote it on my FB wall. I was so pissed off when the Academy left off Farrah as well in their Memorial Tribute to actors we lost in 2009. I clearly remember us asking one another...'did they leave out Farrah or did we not see her photo?'...'surely they (academy) would not leave her off, after all, they did include Michael'. Again, it was this AH of an entertainer who took the limelight away from our beloved Farrah. Enough of MJ tributes already. MJ should be of no importance here and the fact that he was remembered during the American Academy Awards (AAA: what an acronym) Memorial Tribute sans Farrah Fawcett just makes me livid.
MJ is "persona non grata" in my book. I have had a bad dislking of him dating back to 1995.  I grew up liking his music, but his character flaws (1993) ultimately proved too much for this one-time fan so I dismissed him as a musical artist in my book by 1995 especially after he started putting out awful music.  The main reason for my complete abadonment of MJ as one of my fav artisits was after his second accusation of child molestation and stint in court (2005). Jesus Juice is not my flavor of the day. Having been molested by a family member when I was a little girl does not leave me with any kind of sympathy for the likes of the Wacko-kid. "He loves kids too much"...that came from his own mouth in his ignorant and so not believeable attempt at justifying why he loved having kids (little boys) around him all the time. It may have been a reason I could accept until he admitted he slept with these little boys. Now what reason could any adult have for sleeping with little kids like that?!! (rhetorical)...I don't know any adult who would do such a thing. Not even in a family does one do that if the child in question is clearly not your son or daughter. You just do not do that, and it sickens me that MJ admitted to having done that with other people's kids and so many other people did not even think twice about it or worse yet, it did not sicken them enough to want to forget the likes of this guy...Michael, who much like Peter Pan, did not want to grow up. Just because a person of ill character dies does not warrant anyone pay him any kind of respect or tribute like thousands did for MJ when he died last June 2009.  I disliked him long ago and just because he died, it did not mean I was going to go against my own beliefs and ethics and pretend he was a person of good morals or feel any kind of sympathy for him.  Thousands of people had bad childhoods, MJ, but they never put other people's children in harms way, never abused them or never used them and then add it all up to not having had a childhood.  Hell, most children in this world never had or never will have childhoods.  Millions don't even have a home, millions have no parents, and every single day these millions of poor people suffer with not very much to eat if anything at all to eat.  What in the F--K made you so damned special, MJ? (rhetorical).  I stopped listening to his music long ago, even before I knew Sara in 1996, who some people may believe is the person who, in some weird, bewitching way had something to do with why I quit liking MJ.  Like I don't have a mind of my own.  People who know me should clearly know that I have free-thought and have never been afraid to say what I feel or how I feel, and that I am seldom influenced by what others think or say!   That I do my own research and reach a conclussion to all things in life all on my very own.  MJ died a long, long time ago dating back to the mid 90's for me. Yes, Siree, I feel a little perturbed that some people may think I quit liking MJ because of Sara. SO NOT TRUE! I stopped liking or following MJ long, long ago. I have never encouraged any of my nieces or nephews to listen to his music - certainly NOT after 1995.  I am sure if one asked any of them post 1995, they would all agree that I never played MJ music in their presence or advised them to listen to his music.  If I had kids of my own, I would NOT-NOT-NOT encourage them to listen to MJ much less to like him or to think this guy was ever a musical genius. Many have said that Hitler was a genius, but we do not regard him in the way people regard MJ now after he died. Matter of fact, it is a proven fact that many of the serial killers were of genius level, and we also do not consider them heros by any means. So why after MJ died did so many people forget every negative thing he did? I remember living the ordeals of MJ the first time he was publicly accused of child molestation (I backed him up and defended him that first time).  I also remember the second time which was the final breaking straw for this person, I could not go on defending him when my gut instinct said otherwise. In remembering everything so vividly and how it bothered me somewhat the first time MJ went to court and how it just made me want to throw up the second time he went to court to answer for those charges, it does not bode well with me that he was ever an innocent person. He was filthy rich and had it all yet he succombed to such hideous and negative ways of living his life. I remember seeing interviews with his family, mainly Janet, in which they all worried about him and his need to be around children. I remember they said they would often plea with MJ to stop having kids around him all the time. Janet even said it bothered her that he had such a need. I also remember his family saying they missed MJ and wondered why he chose to stay away from them and why, after he had those kids of his own, why MJ did not allow the kids to be around his family. It seems MJ had long ago kicked his family out of his life and when he died, his family acted like they loved each other so much and that they were all so close. That made my stomach turn as well. But, they have an excuse. After all, they are his family and sometimes family tends to turn a blind eye to a loved one even when said loved one has fallen short of being a good person or  law-abiding. The Jackson family now feels that they have to put up a front to appear like a "loving, true blue American family" in hopes that everyone forgets what their past family life was really like.  They have another good reason for trying to appear as a good family...MONEY.  And they seem to be able to rake in as much money now than when MJ was alive.  But, as people who were watching from the outside - not being blood related - why or how could so many people have forgotten how shady MJ's past was and how inappropriate his behavior was which lead to people accusing him of being a child molester!...(rhetorical)!  And Oh boy, I can hear how some will defend MJ and curse his accusers especially because some of his accusers took money from MJ.  It was indeed hush money and it may have been wrong for the accusers to take it, but how would we defend the action if money were waived around in our respective faces to remain "mum".  Many people already stay quiet during times of "alleged child molestation" when no money is being offered so why think it would be different if money was offered.  9 out of 10 people would take the money.  The person with the money and the fame is the one with all the power.  Personally, the offering of money by MJ to his accusers makes him look way more guilty.  Maybe MJ did not physically molest those kids, but sleeping with them makes him guilty in my book. It is just sickening to no avail when I think of that in itself. Like I said, having no kids myself puts me in a position of wanting to care for other's kids and making sure no harm comes their way. Having endured years of torment with what my uncle was doing to me when I was a child and no one was around to help me or to defend me and me being too scared to tell on him, I have no patience or empathy for the likes of one MJ. I was sad when he died. I mourned his songs; the original songs true to MJ himself dating back to his "Black and White" (1991) album. Any and all music post "Black and White" was IMO just awful and not worthy. I was also sad that this guy died the way he did. In the end, I personally do not blame his doctor(s), I blame him. How stupid are we in this society if we keep blaming everyone else for all the rotten things which happen to us instead of us accepting part blame or full blame. Blaming others is why this society is so screwed up and why we do not learn anything from previous mistakes. The only reason I felt bad for MJ was because he never had the opportunity to change and to live a decent life. To me, he will always be the entertainer who made music I loved in the late 70's, 80's and half way into the 90's. He will never be an icon in my book. He left behind such a blemished legacy that I can only remember that he was NEVER comfortable in his own skin, he had issues loving his family and he loved kids way, way, way too much for me to think it innocent. I remember MJ's trials w/no tribulations, and his court trials..."lest we forget"!  My gosh, I remember so much of the bad that it compeltely overpowers any of the good. Charles Manson paints good portraits, but because of what he did (or made others do in his name), I would not buy one of those pics and then hang it on my wall and call it art and then encourage my kids to follow the man or his art. I am not sure why so many people have chosen to forget what MJ really was. It disappoints me even more when I see people with kids who want their kids to be MJ fans and followers. I would never encourage my nieces and nephews to follow that guy (MJ) who had such a perverted guise anymore than I would tell them stories of that one uncle of mine who was very perverted himself and then try to paint a positive light when speaking of him. I would never allow that uncle the excuse of "loving kids too much". So, if I would not make such allowances for my own family (BTW: that uncle was not a blood relative of mine), why would I ever make excuses for a shady character like MJ whom is clearly someone that I never even met.  As a person (MJ) who was twice plagued by child molestation charges (and, yes, found innocent in court the second time but monies were exchanged for an out-of-court settlement the first time) but refused to do anything by which to reverse the negative image which he left behind for all to judge the actions, he made himself a huge target for future controversy and for people like myself to believe he had issues associated with children that normal people do not have.
In ending this story and posting it to blog, I will be brazen and bold enough to rightly state and reiterate that Michael Jackson is NOT an ICON.

Excerpt below is copied from an ABC online story written by JIM AVILA, CHRIS STRATHMANN and KATIE ESCHERICH, June 26, 2009:
Jackson twice faced serious allegations of child abuse, allegations he always strenuously denied. A multimillion dollar settlement was reached in the first case in 1993, and Jackson was found not guilty in a circus of a criminal trial in 2005. But that ordeal left him deeply in debt and under suspicion for the remaining years of his life. Many felt he had been convicted in the court of public opinion.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Children: To Have or Not To Have!

While I sit here pondering my role in this life, I am watching the old 1995 movie Nine Months which stars Julianne Moore and a very young Hugh Grant - whom is one of my favorite English actors. Anyway, the synopsis of the movie is a about a man not yet ready to venture into the yarns of fatherhood but whose girlfriend, after finding out she is pregnant, ends up really wanting to have the baby. The young Child Psychologist played by Grant is not at all in the same spiritual or mental place as his girlfriend is as the movie progresses and is scared stiff about becoming a father. The soon-to-be-mother character played by Moore is a dance instructor and she soon learns that her excitement about becoming a parent is not shared by her boyfriend and the fireworks begin.
I find myself being extremely compassionate towards the man because he was told by the girlfriend that not much would change by her pregnancy then wham, the man discovers so many changes around each corner of his life – too many changes. I also feel badly for the woman because she is understandably excited and overjoyed at bringing a baby into the world only to find her partner at odds with the idea. In the end everything is fine as is often the fairy-tale conclusion with Hollywood movies, but this person is left wondering ‘what if’?!!
Let me explain, I am in my early 40’s and never had a child. Those who know me know my story about the miscarriage I had over 21 years ago. Had the circumstances been different, I would now be Mom to a 20 year old boy. The pregnancy was a surprise and the person whom I was married to was like the Hugh Grant character in that he was rather immature and not very empathetic towards others feelings and a huge failure at putting others needs/wants ahead of his own.
Anyway, after the miscarriage, I decided I needed to do something different with my life and I left the marriage. Until this very day, my motherly instincts have never kicked in as is the case with so many women. My maternal clock was idle I suppose and I never went around paranoid that I would run out of time to have children. Now do not get me wrong, had the opportunity arisen, I would have stepped up to the plate, but it never did. I love children. I believe I would have made an excellent mother. I am attentive towards other people’s children and believe that they are just little adults and one needs to treat them with much respect. The love we give them should be a given, but so should respect. I have always had a great rapport with children and have been able to handle the most difficult ones when others failed.
I have always admitted that my selfishness was the main reason which kept me from having children or adopting them. I am not ashamed to say that because it is true and I firmly believe that most people feel that way but would be quick to deny it. In my admittance of such a thing, I am proud that I was able to acknowledge those feelings and instead focus on other important things in my life.
So what of my legacy - as many will probably question. Well, it may not be embedded in another human being who is of my own body, but it is derivative of everything I have done in this world. Those things may or may not include the many blogs I write, the content writing and stories which I post for other media avenues, the novel(s) I am currently focusing on. Those things may be simple and not so important to those who do have children, but those things are my children – my babies, and I am proud of them all. But let’s not forget other parts of my legacy for which I am certain many would agree are genuine and important, the philanthropy in which I have partaken of in the past and taking care of my family when they were in need or just because I wanted to do so. Then there are my own nieces and nephews whom are as close to my own children in how much I adore and love them. I believe I have been able to form good relationships with them – some more than others. I believe I have helped form positive impressions upon them to help them grow as adults, and into productive and influential members of society. That they all place importance on family no matter what and no matter what their definition of family might be.
Yes, indeed, my maternal clock may not have tick-tocked itself into the realms of motherhood as like with other women, but my life to-date is just fine. The ole proverbial clock was not broken either. Instead, my inner-workings lead me to a much different path and in the end; I believe it was just as gratifying for me. I love my family and I do place it high on my list of priorities, but there is always room for making sure one takes care of #1 and our own needs before we can do right by others. I was fortunate to be on this path and I do not question it and neither do I look back over my shoulders questioning it or second guessing it. I guess I am lucky like that.
So the 'what if' question which I was left querying about this a.m. as I watched Nine Months is...  just wondering what my son would have done with his life, what kind of person would he have been, things of that nature.  I am not regretful of never having had children - I only miss not having known my son.  No matter if I had had more kids, none would have replaced my first-born.  Therefore - I am okay not having any, and status quo is just fine for me...no regrets...none whatsoever!  Life is good "as is"!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

HAPPY 2010

The professionals at the American Literacy Council say it is to be pronounced 20-10 not two thousand and ten.  The latter form is supposedly illiterate.  I prefer the 20-10 one anyway because it sounds more sci-fi 'ish and more futuristic.  Whatever, right?!!! 
ANYHOW--- Here's wishing all a Happy 20-10!!!
May the recession end, the politicians figure out a way to reform health-care to benefit everyone, and may any/all catastrophes which occur world-wide this year (as they are certain to do) remind us ALL to be more compassionate - not tolerant, but accepting!!!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

2010 BCS National Championship (my prediction and my theory)

I first posted the theory data on my Facebook wall yesterday and today, I predicted the outcome of tonight’s college championship game. I was merely testing a theory I heard during the "Mike and Mike in the Morning Show" on Monday morning at 5 AM. I awoke laughing my head off as usual at the comedic banter for which Greeny and Golic are known.
They spoke about sport’s superstitions which often accompanies all players and fans. Apparently Greeny's dad did not want to change his vacation & flight plans to attend the next NY Jets game because in changing plans, he may jinx the team's ability to win another game versus the Cincy Bengals (this time a playoff game). Greeny had first brought up the idea for his dad to change his plans in order to help his dad save some time because his dad was going to have to make two separate trips on separate days almost half-way across the country to see the playoff game in person. Greeny then had second thoughts after his dad explained the jinx theory and changed his mind as well and agreed with his dad to leave vacation and flight plans “as is”.
The dos Mikes went on about other superstitions and it reminded me how I also have some pretty quirky ones of my own. For me though - in order to "meet my fears" and to spite my own idiosyncrasies which are my superstitions, I tend to do the complete opposite of what my superstition devils feed into my ears and into my thoughts. Most often I despite them and I end up on the short end of the stick, per se.
Here is some data about what I mean:
1) When I tell someone which team I am supporting, 2 out of 3 times they win...thus; I am 70-30 with voicing my beliefs even though I have promised myself I would not make any vocal predictions. Going forward I need to keep my opinions to myself and not tell anyone what I think. Except concerning Texas Tech…I am always on their side.
2) When I write down which team I am supporting, 1 out of 3 times they win...thus, I am 30-70 when I write down my predictions. I seriously need to stop writing down my predictions for the Karma Gods are out to spite me.
This time around I decided to try something new with a team whose results really do not concern me at all. I told everyone that the University of Texas Longhorns were going to beat the Alabama Crimson Tide and win the 2010 BCS National Championship. I wrote it down as well as a “fearless prediction”. I am actually more in favor of the Tide to win for obvious reasons surrounding the last time Texas played and almost lost to the Cornhuskers of Nebraska had it not been for that “one second incident”.
I am not buying into the idea that Texas is totally going to fall apart and not give ‘Bama a run for their money, but neither am I convinced that Texas can win this game - if they do it will be close. No matter which team wins, it will be close and low scoring. Colt McCoy, who had my support for Heisman, is not your ordinary player. He is clutch when the opportunity calls for it and when the situation demands it. His favorite target at WR is Jordan Shipley (6th year senior-ala red-shirt due to previous IR status); Jordan is not one to give up either. The UT kicker is definitely clutch to boot, pardon the pun. These UT guys will combine to give the Tide a good fight. However, there might be way too many weapons on the ‘Bama side, offense and defense, so I fear that the ‘Horns will be unable to keep their 17 game win steak alive after tonight’s game and will fall a bit short of winning the national championship.
After the game is over, I will post my real “fearless prediction” for this game as I did 4 weeks ago via ESPN when I entered their 2010 College Bowl Mania contest. I had the ability to change my prediction for this game up thru today, but I never once waivered. I kept the score as I chose it 4 weeks ago especially when I was not too impressed with UT’s Big 12 Championship last-second victory over the ‘Huskers. However, I also chose to keep the score close for a couple of reasons. I saw something in Coach Nick Saban as he downplayed having beaten Florida during their SEC Championship game. Nick seemed confused or maybe surprised at their win no matter how many points they won by, he seemed shocked. Nick himself appeared to not want to predict anything about the national championship game, and I don’t believe that he refrained from commenting too much about the game or their opponents even after they knew it would be Texas because he is a classy guy. Nick seemed plagued by the very superstitions which hinder all fans and he wanted to say as little as he could. There was something else I saw in Saban’s eyes a couple of days later after their SEC title game…a bit of fear…maybe the fear which reminded him of the fact that 32 days would lie in wait until the national championship would take place and it would be sufficient time for UT to fix their issues - enough time for UT to give ‘Bama a tough time and maybe even beat them. UT won’t go out so easily and lose as badly as sport’s pundits and 74% of the nation believes they will. UT may lose, but it won’t be by a landslide. At the end of the game, Alabama might win and if they do, they will -should- appreciate their victory even more.