Book of D: What About My Career

Often times, I get asked how I like my job. I usually answer in some exclamatory fashion: "I love my job!" I don't get asked too often what my job entails. My family just knows that I am a coordinator of health and wellness promotion. Usually they say I work helping students with mental health issues. LOL. That's kind of true, but it's not all I do. My colleagues are also perplexed by what my career at the U covers. They just know that I am the "favorite employee" of our Associate Vice President for Student Services (AVPSS). I'm not sure how I really feel about that because our AVPSS usually doesn't hide the fact that I am his favorite, and it makes me feel awkward, and I just don't like having that kind of attention - especially the kind of attention that could mar how my job performance is viewed by those whom we should talk about (Harry Potter)😏. My colleagues have on occasion had me reach out to our AVPSS because I'm his favorite, but honestly, I don't buy it. And, I do not refrain from telling my cohorts that "most of the time, it doesn't feel like I'm his favorite." That's the pure and simple truth.

First and foremost, my current job title at the U necessitates that I have a master's degree. I was granted the opportunity to do the job back when I started the clinical mental health counseling grad program, so I am glad that obtaining a master's degree is checked off. Now I can focus on what I was brought over to Student Affairs (moreover the Dean of Students) from Student Success to do. 

I facilitate four major programs: BASICS / CASICS, Tobacco Use Cessation, Bystander Intervention, and Students in Recovery. The last one is my absolute favorite. As a person in recovery, I fully appreciate university-sponsored programs that support students trying to overcome any setbacks. Our University's mission statement is: The Center for Students in Recovery provides a supportive community where students in recovery and in hope of recovery can achieve academic success while enjoying a genuine college  experience free from alcohol and other drugs. 

Our AVPSS made it possible for me (and a couple of other staff members and student workers) to get SMART Recovery trained last year. I am proud to be an official SMART Recovery facilitator. The program itself is an evidence-based program, and it has helped thousands of people in need of recovery support by way of the SMART Recovery Four Points (not steps). The program refrains from being religious or a 12-step type of treatment program, which makes it better for those who are not religious or just want their first amendment rights (freedom from religion) to be observed. It makes it nice for facilitators like myself who are more spiritual. The main keys to SMART Recovery include non-confrontational communication strategies, the implementation of healthy boundaries, and the use of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT), and motivational enhancement therapy (MET). My favorite is REBT by Robert Ellis. This was my go-to form of therapy with my counseling clients. I am certain I will keep using it a lot throughout the Recovery project. 

As for BASICS & CASICS, the respective acronyms mean Brief Alcohol Screening and Intervention for College Students & Cannabis Screening and Intervention for College Students. BASICS is a harm-reduction intervention for college students. For example, UTPB students who have an alcohol violation on or off campus, or an alcohol-related visit to the emergency department at the University-approved medical center are required by the University to complete the BASICS program administered by Health Promotion and Wellness. Students who do not have a violation but who are interested in learning more about alcohol are also encouraged to use the confidential service free of charge. CASICS is is a program designed to assist students in examining their cannabis other drug-use behavior in a judgment-free environment. This is not an abstinence-only program.

Tobacco Use Cessation helps students, faculty, and staff decrease their tobacco habits to eventually stop smoking altogether. Our campus is 100% smoke-free campus (it is illegal to smoke in the parking lot).

As for Bystander Intervention, per our University's mission statement, ". . . is recognizing a potentially harmful situation or interaction and choosing to respond in a way that could positively influence the outcome." This program is also important to me as a survivor of domestic abuse and violence. We partner with the local agencies that provide aid, support, and resources to people in dangerous situations. We collaborate with the agencies to recognize October as Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM). I also create and facilitate University Bystander Intervention presentations to new students, transfer students, student organizations, athletics, resident advisors, staff, and faculty through guidance and awareness of how to prevent and de-escalate potentially violent incidents through the willingness to take action and help someone in time of need because, often, domestic and sexual violence is preventable.

Book of D: Venting with a Purpose

"Hell, I don't even know anymore. It's good one day and bad the next day. Actually, the feelings change from one minute to the next. One coworker bitches and complains about the boss not treating him right, then the next minute, the same coworker is being an ass kisser with the same boss he claims was treating him like a little kid and a punk. I don't get paid enough to deal with all this bullshit. What in the fuck should I do?"

So, you'll notice the above paragraph is in quotations. It was a message sent to me, right before I went to lunch, by someone I know from another "System" school. He had some serious venting to do. 

I knew we had issues at my U, but the issues here fail in comparison to the shit-show going on with my neighbors to the east. This is one time I don't mind saying, "we're not number one!" LOL. I know we have a few issues at my U, but really, it is no different than what most people encounter at any other place of employment. The work culture here is actually really good. I have never felt mistreated because of my gender, political affiliation, sexual preference, or by way of the other illegal discriminatory biases. It's a pretty safe campus, mentally- and physically-speaking. My colleagues are all extremely knowledgeable in their respective fields, which bodes well whenever we have to collaborate and do group events and activities. As for the person who sent me the message regarding his workplace, I did not respond. I believe I will sit on this for a while and think about how or if I will send a response. In reality, it was kind of sophomoric and oblivious of him to send it. For one, he doesn't know if I am trustworthy; I could have forwarded his message to his boss, whom I am quite familiar with and fond of. But, I won't do such a catty thing; spite is never right. Oh, look . . .  that rhymed. LOL. When I was younger and worked in retail (from hell), I shamefully loved gossip and rumors. I ran my rumor mill like there was no tomorrow. Man, that mill ran like clackety-clack-clack, 24/7. Either I was bored as hell, or I hung around the wrong people. No LOL. As I've matured, I have come to realize that drama is nothing but coagulated low self-esteem - and it's nonsensical. It does no one any good to spread rumors or create unheeded drama. This person is too old for drama. If I want to see drama, I'll go to a Shakespearean play. Which reminds me, we just saw "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum" (😆 mandatory tangent). All I know right now is that I am happy sans the dramarama and refuse to get sucked into any of it by the people who are too damn extra.

Book of D: Boundary Setting at El Trabajo!

Hey, it's Hispanic Heritage Month! ¡Hay mucho de lo que estar orgullosa! Plus, I wanted to put my semi-sublime Spanish speaking / writing skills to good use. Okay, back to the title and point of this post: boundary setting at work. Recently, a colleague informed me that he/she has been feeling on edge with the head honcho of our division. The colleague added that there seems to be an absence of boundaries and guidance, which makes the work culture feel a bit unstructured and apprehensive. My colleague is by no means diffident or a milquetoast, but he/she has become somewhat timorous in character these past few days because of the awkward treatment the boss has fashioned onto my colleague. I'll be using compa (friend) and jefe (boss) going forward because I do not want to divulge anyone's identity, especially not that of my colleague. Not that I should worry much about it because I doubt anyone really reads my blog. Cue in a loud, burly sigh 😁(via an onomatopoeia). Besides, I'm not worried about being like 'Geraldo Rivera' and leaking vital information; honestly, I'm just in the mood for a "soapbox" discussion. BAM!!! 

Getting back to my colleague, I just feel sorry for my compa because the person is such a hard worker who always arrives to work on campus before the majority of the faculty and staff and is usually the last person to leave. I am usually on campus by 7:30 am, but my compa beats that by a good 10 to 15 minutes - if not more. We are required to work a 40-hour work week: nine hours a day, Monday through Thursday (7:30 am to 5:30 pm), and four hours on Friday (8 am to 12 pm). My compa has been employed here longer than most and works way more than 40 hours, so it pretty much chaps my hide, per se, to know that he/she is being micromanaged and treated like a newbie staff member. I have had my own altercations with the jefe, and some things have improved following said contretemps, but there remains so much work to be done to hone in on and fix the real issues between the jefe and myself - as well as with the jefe and other colleagues. Our jefe is a young and inexperienced manager, and although he means well, his ambition and eagerness to rise to the top casts a dark cloud over his presence, which the jefe is clearly oblivious to and that also escalates the strife. So, when my compa tells me about his/her issues, my heart just goes out to him/her. I know how it feels to get treated in such a mal manner. It doesn't feel good, and it makes a person doubt his/her abilities. My compa admitted to having lost sleep over yesterday's negative meeting with the jefe. That pisses me off because no job or person is worth a person's mental or physical health. All I can do is listen for now. My compa asked for some advice, which I sparingly gave with circumspect at the helm. As a counselor-in-training, I can't help but think of a million things to say or do, but I have to keep things in perspective - for both my friend and myself - and tread lightly. As I have gotten older, I have come to realize that it is best to stay out of certain issues and allow negotiations to take place. Things do tend to work themselves out, we just have to be patient, but we also have the right to set boundaries and be rightfully respected.

Soapbox time is over in lieu of lunchbox time . . . back to eating mi comida.

Book of D: The Lack of Generational Communication

"The lives of the young are so fragile that as their counterparts become aged, the elders reach that pivotal moment in their lives where they unwantedly acquiesce to being absent of knowledge for fear of rejection by the young and less experienced." 

- D.D. '22

The meaning behind that quote, which is mine, thank-you very much, self, is that older people are too often treated as less < than by the younger gens. It's like there is an unwritten rule and date when older folks just run out of time to prove what they know. Once a certain age is reached in adulthood, most of the younger gens tend to think that they know more than everyone older than they are. Never mind that older people did somehow manage to survive living for such a lengthy time.

Living long is no small feat; it requires tenacity and knowledge of some sort. The older person's knowledge might be different from that of a younger person, but it still matters because the older person was able to reach older adulthood by doing something right. Right? The thing is, societal views just stink. We're taught social skills early in life, and one of those lessons is to "respect your elders." But, by the time adolescence brews in, teenagers lose track of the respect they were taught to have and end up thinking they know everything and that their parents (elders) are all stupid. Thankfully, by the time we reach young to middle adulthood, we start realizing that our older gens were right about so many things. But, from where and when do we inherit the audacity to start mistreating the older gens again? Why do we do that? Why do we assume that a person who has managed to live to be older needs to be treated like a child? Why do we assume that older people don't know anything and must succumb to the wiles of a younger person? When does an older person stop trying to prove how smart and strong they are only to be met with disregard and condescension? What is exactly the right age to acquiesce to a younger person's diatribe and questioning of one's ability and knowledge. Do younger people really need to feel so superior that they, knowingly or not, take on the characteristics of a bully only to justify it in the name of love. What disdain and consternation, right?

Book of D: The Sound of Silence by Disturbed

 RE: "The Sound of Silence" Conan performance by Disturbed

I remember watching Conan (O'Brien) in March of 2016. He had Disturbed as the performing musical guest. Disturbed is an American heavy metal band that hails from Chi-Town and is led by the remarkable vocalist David Draiman. Draiman (a.k.a. Mr. Oh...Wakakaka) has an extraordinary vocal range; his ability to rasp primal scream sans hot lava damage to his vocal cords is sublime. He reminds me a lot of  Scott Stapp, the lead vocalist for the now defunct Creed. 

Anyway, I remember watching / listening to Disturbed's own personal rendition of the classic aforementioned Simon & Garfunkel song. I was in awe. That's the best way in which I can describe how I felt while watching the live performance. It was moving. I admit I was also gobsmacked (no, I am not an anglophile, but do like stealing Briticisms like "gobsmacked"! 😃).

If you are one of the few peeps who has not yet given a listen to "The Sound of Silence" by Disturbed, please do yourself a favor and give it a try. You might fall in love with this version - maybe you won't, but it can't hurt to be amongst the over 900 million people who have given it a chance. It will either give you good vibes and chills ala chicken skin or it will deem me a liar and give you the creeps and make you sick with chicken shivers. 😅 The hype surrounding Disturbed's version of "The Sound of Silence" might be apocryphal, but it has confounded the algorithms. Moreover, as of July 2022, the video on YouTube has more than 826 million views, while the live performance on Conan has over 131 million. According to experts, it is the most watched YouTube video from the show.

 

Lyrics "The Sound of Silence" by Simon and Garfunkel 

Hello darkness, my old friend - I've come to talk with you again - Because a vision softly creeping - Left its seeds while I was sleeping - And the vision that was planted in my brain - Still remains - Within the sound of silence 

In restless dreams I walked alone - Narrow streets of cobblestone - 'Neath the halo of a street lamp - I turned my collar to the cold and damp - When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light - That split the night - And touched the sound of silence 

And in the naked light I saw - Ten thousand people, maybe more - People talking without speaking - People hearing without listening - People writing songs that voices never share - No one dared - Disturb the sound of silence 

"Fools" said I, "You do not know - Silence like a cancer grows - Hear my words that I might teach you - Take my arms that I might reach you" - But my words like silent raindrops fell - And echoed in the wells of silence 

And the people bowed and prayed - To the neon god they made - And the sign flashed out its warning - In the words that it was forming - And the sign said, "The words of the prophets Are written on the subway walls - And tenement halls - And whispered in the sounds of silence"

Book of D: Mascot Days

 Just my take on UTPB's mascot Freddy Falcon.            

Book of Caty: Thank You to Tall City Vet for the Homage

Thanks to Dr. Erinne DeBoe and her wonderful staff at Tall City Vet. Caty was their patient for her entire life. Before Dr. DeBoe bought the TCV practice, Caty was under the care of former vet/owner, Dr. Boyd. I am so happy and forever grateful how Dr. DeBoe and her staff acknowledged Caty's beautiful life and sunrise; especially how they graciously paid tribute to my Caty's sunset call. I created a digital flipbook for our CATY's CARD on ISSUU. I even gave Dr. DeBoe and her staff a good review on Birdeye and will do the same on Facebook, Yelp, etc. ...

Book of D: Life Is Good - Until It Isn't

Why is it that humans live life so differently. What makes some overachievers in life while others are okay with mediocrity. I don't judge. To each his or her own. As an optimist but a realist, I accept that life is good for the most part, but it will always throw one of its proverbial wrenches. Sometimes we'll see it coming, other times we won't! 

Sometimes we'll duck, other times, we'll end up with a big ole pile of sh¡t on our face. All I know is that as a species, humans are impatient and take life for granted. We embrace the sh¡t out of life until it starts spewing crap-n-stance (crap + negative circumstances). Lol. Life is our 'bf' when it's treating us well, but the moment it starts acting bitchy and demanding, we're like, "whoa there, füȼker!" We take life and things for granted until someone or something we need and love is suddenly taken away. Or we create the turmoil and accept no accountability. It's like the scene in the movie, Cold Mountain, when Rene Zellweger's character says, "They call this war a cloud over the land. But they made the weather and then they stand in the rain and say 'Shit, it's raining!'" That quote itself is apropos of human nature. People gripe without first asking themselves if they could've done things differently. 

Book of Caty: The End of an Epoch

Were you scared, baby kitty? Your eyes looked so panicked. I could feel your little body shaking. I wanted to grab you from the vet table and run away with you; to protect you from the imminent death that awaited you. Those syringes full of liquid finality and destruction must have been so frightening for you. I am so sorry I couldn't protect you from the impatient death that arrived to tear you from us!

I wish that I had been more in tune with your subtle hints those weeks ago when you were surely trying to tell me and your "mama" that there was something wrong with you. I should've done my research instead of being so darn nonchalant and justifying your change in demeanor: "she's just getting older and needy." Foolish me. The sight of your tired, frail body laying there on that vet table will forever burn in my memory - as will seeing your "mama" cry like she did when you went to sleep and closed your eyes forever. Seeing your mama so wrecked really hurt, but it's not your fault. She mourned you, Caty, like she's never mourned anyone before. I love you and miss you, my Caty (Brady), unlike anything I could have imagined. Whenever someone passes away and leaves such pain and heartache behind, it's because they loved so selfishly and greatly and were loyal to a fault. Those were your qualities, my beautiful Caty. Those are the very qualities that make life wonderful, so when the world becomes delpeted of said qualities through a death, life becomes somewhat scary, bleak, and cold. Run around in heaven's grassy knolls, my sweet, beautiful Caty. Make sure you have your collar on with the cute bell, so your grandma Eva can find you and play with you. Love you, your "mon mere"!