Self-deportation versus Teleportation: A Latino Trekkie's Story!

Before I start my story, please remember that self-deportation is different from teleportation. The latter is a device, a transporter...it is a fictional teleportation machine used in the Star Trek universe. The Star Trek universe is fictional - it is to most but not to persons such as myself and certainly not to the Latino Trekkie who recently decided to put his self-deportation to Mexico on hold and instead via teleportation went on hiatus to the planet Vulcan...and so this is where the story begins, my amigos.

Once the Latino teleported there (Vulcan) he was told he also did not belong there. The family members of Spock felt badly for the Latino and offered him refuge. The part of them that is human wanted to knock-off the poor bastardo, but the Vulcan half spared him his life and had the Latino mow their lawn first before hiding him. It was days before the Spock family-members and the Latino decided to teleport him back to Earth...en route the Latino remembered that he may have left beans cooking and tortillas warming so needless to say upon his arrival back to his casita, the Latino found himself homeless as his home had burned to the ground. Investigators called to the scene decided that the incident was an accident and ignored the many members of the KKK that had gathered to pray for the Latino. The officials were grateful that the KKK had several crosses burning obviously to help light up the area so they (investigators) could perform their work as it was night-time. Signs of "go back home" gave the officials the warm fuzzies that the KKK could show such concern for the Latino that he have a place to call home. The Latino has since been rumored to have found a nice place to call home in an area with lots of cellars...it is six feet under according to most!