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Saturday, December 26, 2015
Saturday, December 19, 2015
Self-Indulgence Post: The Art of Loving Oneself: Learning to Say “NO”
One
would think I had finally mastered the art of turning down any offers that,
clearly, are not good for me; or declining an invitation whose outcome would
hardly stand to do battle with me sticking a hot poker in my eye. Saying
“no” should flow freely from my mouth, but I assure you, it does not. I won’t
go into the finite details, for that would be too messy and perhaps be boring as
hell. But,
I will say this, saying “no” to people, when you really don’t want to partake
in something they are requesting of you, is probably the single greatest act of
kindness (and freedom) you can gift to yourself.
So, why
is it that many of us are stuck on the idea of not wanting to hurt other people’s
feelings that we suck it up (suck up our own feelings, that is) and grudgingly go along with
what other people want us to do? Why is it embedded in many of us to be so darn polite? Why can’t
we be like most assholes and just say “no?” Damn it, I hate that I don’t
allow myself to say “no," and instead say "yes" when deep down all I want to do is run away screaming. I hate when I don’t negate the situation more. What am I, a freaking five-year
old? Actually, most five-year olds can say “no” better than I can, so forgive
me my bad analogy.
Anyway,
I can practice saying the word “no" in my head; I practice it quite frequently in preparation of a scenario that might place me in a position of politely having to say “yes.” I visualize the probable
conversation in my head, and I carefully study it, so when the moment of tyranny (yes, tyranny)
arrives, and a person poses an unwelcome question, invitation, or request my way, I can be at the ready to
say “NO!" Question to self, though? If I
am so mentally prepared, why in the hell do I always end up saying “yes?" My id, ego, and super ego all get mad at me for not being able to muster the word "no!" Hell, even my heart gets pissed off because
my squeaky, pathetic, little voice doesn’t have the sense or the courage to
spew the word “no” every once in a while. If
you think my heart is pissed, you should hear the other colorful names my brain has
for my shrieking, little bitch of a voice.
So,
I go forward, continuing to visualize myself saying “no.” Especially being able to say it to those people whom I really don’t
want to hang out with or do a favor for. However, in reality, I know the "real" word I am most likely going to reply with no matter how badly I want to runaway screaming. Really?
Do I have to repeat the word? Well, because I am so complacent and don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, the word I will more likely than not reply with when said proposition is spewed upon me is "YES!" I will probably reply with the awful three letter word: yes. I might not want to hang out with the person or look at his or her awful vacation or baby photos, but I am probably going to say "YES." Ugh, I piss myself off. Oh, the self-contempt. I want to sue myself in court. LOL.
Friday, December 18, 2015
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
Self-Indulgence Post: Catcher in the Rye: A Comparative.
Okay, so humor me. Many people believe Holden Caulfield's character is actually in a mental ward recuperating from a mental breakdown. Personally, I believe he was in a sanatorium recuperating from pneumonia-like symptoms. Many people believe he was just a lazy and seriously disturbed (and disinterested) person. I believe he was just a bored and severely jaded (and disheartened) young man.
Is there a diff? Hell, yes!
I can totally relate to Holden's character.
Often, I have found myself so dissatisfied with the human race that it made me want to move to some faraway place where isolation would be the lone comfort I would need. I have especially been discontented by what a bunch of assholes and morons people can be.
Often, that feeling has made me want to disconnect myself from the human race -- give or take a few family members and friends who more often provide serenity and lucidity to my life.
Does that make me crazy? Hell, no!
It does make me aware of my surroundings. Maybe it does make me jaded every once in a while, but it doesn't make me crazy -- or lazy.
I see the world for what it is.
I often tear myself away from it: I read and write.
I also remember to communicate with a handful of people (and media outlets) to keep me informed and abreast of current events.
But mostly, I sit back and look at the world going by, and I, too, bask in the glory and in the same judgmental ways of one Holden Caulfield:
. . . "most people are PHONIES!"
Is there a diff? Hell, yes!
I can totally relate to Holden's character.
Often, I have found myself so dissatisfied with the human race that it made me want to move to some faraway place where isolation would be the lone comfort I would need. I have especially been discontented by what a bunch of assholes and morons people can be.
Often, that feeling has made me want to disconnect myself from the human race -- give or take a few family members and friends who more often provide serenity and lucidity to my life.
Does that make me crazy? Hell, no!
It does make me aware of my surroundings. Maybe it does make me jaded every once in a while, but it doesn't make me crazy -- or lazy.
I see the world for what it is.
I often tear myself away from it: I read and write.
I also remember to communicate with a handful of people (and media outlets) to keep me informed and abreast of current events.
But mostly, I sit back and look at the world going by, and I, too, bask in the glory and in the same judgmental ways of one Holden Caulfield:
. . . "most people are PHONIES!"
Monday, December 14, 2015
Self-Indulgence Post: Yo, What's the "Diffidence," Y'all? Let Her be Shy!
She used to not be able to talk to me. Thank the karma g-ds she has made strides. Not the way I would like, but she is making and taking baby steps. I no longer feel like I must conquer the mountain that seems to throw everyone off during attempts to undergo the trek (of such a climb).
I am not giving up by any means. She is worth the extra bit of fight.
She is not always the friendliest, but when we speak, she is affable.
She is not always approachable, but when we speak, she is formidable (in a good way).
She has the best smile I have ever seen.
Her smile alone makes my day.
She's just a good person.
I am thankful to have her in my life.
I still have much work to do.
So, I'll be in touch....
BTW, I kind of like her being shy.
It's the diffidence that makes her so freaking attractive.
I am not giving up by any means. She is worth the extra bit of fight.
She is not always the friendliest, but when we speak, she is affable.
She is not always approachable, but when we speak, she is formidable (in a good way).
She has the best smile I have ever seen.
Her smile alone makes my day.
She's just a good person.
I am thankful to have her in my life.
I still have much work to do.
So, I'll be in touch....
BTW, I kind of like her being shy.
It's the diffidence that makes her so freaking attractive.
Saturday, December 12, 2015
College Update: The Fall Semester is Finished...It Went by Much Too Quickly!
The last time I wrote about college, we were a mere eight weeks from beginning the fall semester. Now, we are only two days from the last day of class (a.k.a. the last day of "finals"), and I ponder with the question: where in the world did the time go?
Perhaps I am just being melancholy or melodramatic. But, in all seriousness, many of the people I spoke to this semester were pondering with the same question. So, I ask one more time, where in the world did the time go?
We have five weeks off before the start of the spring semester (new year 2016), and it saddens me to know that I have to wait such a long time to see some of my closest classmates; the ones I am most fond of and managed to form a friendship with. I might add that I will also miss the former professors I managed to forge a friendship with as well. The ones who guided me through some of the toughest times -- of my college career -- since my return to college for the third time.
So, now we wait . . . .
However, I must add that I grow more sad thinking that I will be entering my final months at Midland College this coming spring semester. I hope the time does not go by as quickly as it did this fall, but if it does, I will make certain to remind myself [daily] to cherish events and people that much more.
Amicably,
D.
Perhaps I am just being melancholy or melodramatic. But, in all seriousness, many of the people I spoke to this semester were pondering with the same question. So, I ask one more time, where in the world did the time go?
We have five weeks off before the start of the spring semester (new year 2016), and it saddens me to know that I have to wait such a long time to see some of my closest classmates; the ones I am most fond of and managed to form a friendship with. I might add that I will also miss the former professors I managed to forge a friendship with as well. The ones who guided me through some of the toughest times -- of my college career -- since my return to college for the third time.
So, now we wait . . . .
However, I must add that I grow more sad thinking that I will be entering my final months at Midland College this coming spring semester. I hope the time does not go by as quickly as it did this fall, but if it does, I will make certain to remind myself [daily] to cherish events and people that much more.
Amicably,
D.
Saturday, November 14, 2015
Friday, November 13, 2015
Sunday, August 16, 2015
I'm Back: College Starts in the Fall...It Actually Didn't Stop for ME!
Yes, a mere eight days away from starting another college semester. As many may have noticed in the title of this post, my college (ahhemmm) career did not stop since last spring semester. The title might also assume I was perhaps not happy with the decision...not true. I decided to go keep attending college straight through the summer. Summer I and summer II were arduous and rigorous, but it was also calm and more attention-based. It was eleven weeks of reading, writing, and studying, but it was worth it and fun. I highly recommend it to anyone pondering with the notion of attending college in the summer. Be prepared for college. Do not expect it to be an actual continuation of high school. You are not going through the thirteenth and the fourteenth grades. If you keep with the mindset that college is like high school, you are going to go nowhere and fast. The images you may have once had of 'crash and burn' are going to be an actuality instead of a feared dream. In college, no one is going to remind you that assignments are due. In college, no one is going to remind you when tests are to be taken. In college, no one is going to give you a progress report or a chance to improve your grade; that is what a withdrawal is for --you drop before you fail.
Don't be a schmuck in college.
Don't be a schmuck in college.
Saturday, March 14, 2015
Monday, January 26, 2015
Dora's Corner: Social Science: Getting to Know Others Gave Me the Awesome Opportunity to Know Myself.
...So, not long ago I was approached by a professor who wanted to conduct an online winter interim course. It involved one of the science disciplines: social science. I was uncertain if I could take part, but only because of my workload. I had the interest, but the availability is what I questioned. Long story short, I made time to partake in the first-ever online course. It was a course that was in collaboration with Stanford University, and in part, with a department within the Microsoft Corporation. Anyone who participated in the course was offered the chance to travel to Stanford at his or her leisure, plus, he or she was also offered the opportunity to apply for a prestigious internship with MS as part of the package. The requirement for taking the course and being able to take advantage of the perks was that the person(s) had to maintain an A+ (4.0) in the course. Not only did the students have to maintain good grades through-out the three-week course, but the students had to find other students from the respective college/university to help take surveys and fill out reports. The students who were chosen also had to be in good standing with good grades.
I was extremely picky in who I asked to help me out, and hindsight being 20/20, I would make the same choices - again and again. I had three of the best students (a.k.a. "student -helpers") assisting me. Each time I had a survey and/or a research form for each person to fill out for me, all three of my "student-helpers" came through for me. Not only did their timeliness to return the data back to me help me with my essays and reports, but the [thorough] manner in which each "student-helper" filled out his or her data, well, it greatly contributed towards me always having an abundant amount of good, vital information from which to pick. Through hard work and the help of three awesome "student-helpers," I not only received the good marks needed to pass the course, but I am also eligible to visit Stanford U sometime in the summer [2015], and if I choose to do so, I am also able to apply for an internship with Microsoft.
The kicker, if you will, pertains to the internship with MS. Applying for such a position is something I would have aspired to obtain not too long ago; however, lately I have been reconsidering my career path. What does that mean? Well, my goal to get my B.A.T. in computer programming, computer networking, computer gaming, or to become a network administrator or a database administrator...all of those comp-sci careers have been put to a halt. Being in college again has opened up other doors for me, and I am once again considering a career in the humanities. Who knows, maybe my long-ago dream of becoming an attorney is also not off the old proverbial table. Many years ago, I began a trek towards becoming a corporate attorney and I minored in finance, but making money and being wealthy is no longer what I wish to do these days. Tangible wealth does not beget happiness, it merely dawns a path of regret that many do not see until it is too late. [Tangent]...Anyway...Perhaps the career in the computer science field is also going to elude me, but by my own accord.
These days I find myself being drawn towards helping other people, so that in turn, they may help themselves. The life of an altruist is only enhanced by the good he or she does for other people, and the only thing that can impede an altruist's will is the person who stares back at him or her in the mirror. Yep, these days I want to look at myself in the mirror and know that the person staring back at me is helping other people and no longer places monetary value on life's achievements. Lately, my mantra has taken a significant turn. My new-found belief is that success is being happy with oneself and helping other people.
AnYwAy...there are three special and important [in his or her own way] people that I would like to thank for all the hard work that he or she put forward while helping me get through the winter interim course. Thank-you a million times over to: Wendy, Gerardo, and Ana. Without your indulgence and cooperation, I would have had a truly difficult time getting through the course - much less having passed it with high marks. You guys rock. You are solid individuals, and I expect good things from each and every single one of you. I know I have said that over a thousand times [exaggerating], but I honestly do mean everything I ever told each of you in person or wrote to each of you in an email, text, and such. Keep up the good work, guys, and maybe one day I will be able to repay the favor. I am always here and around. I never forget a favor, and I never turn my back on a friend. Maybe the opportunities I was afforded through partaking in the online winter interim course will pan out for me... Wherever I go and whatever I do, I will always think of you three.
~ When good fortune is bestowed upon your doorstep, embrace it, love it, enjoy it, but always pay it forward.
~ Dora Dominguez Carey
I was extremely picky in who I asked to help me out, and hindsight being 20/20, I would make the same choices - again and again. I had three of the best students (a.k.a. "student -helpers") assisting me. Each time I had a survey and/or a research form for each person to fill out for me, all three of my "student-helpers" came through for me. Not only did their timeliness to return the data back to me help me with my essays and reports, but the [thorough] manner in which each "student-helper" filled out his or her data, well, it greatly contributed towards me always having an abundant amount of good, vital information from which to pick. Through hard work and the help of three awesome "student-helpers," I not only received the good marks needed to pass the course, but I am also eligible to visit Stanford U sometime in the summer [2015], and if I choose to do so, I am also able to apply for an internship with Microsoft.
The kicker, if you will, pertains to the internship with MS. Applying for such a position is something I would have aspired to obtain not too long ago; however, lately I have been reconsidering my career path. What does that mean? Well, my goal to get my B.A.T. in computer programming, computer networking, computer gaming, or to become a network administrator or a database administrator...all of those comp-sci careers have been put to a halt. Being in college again has opened up other doors for me, and I am once again considering a career in the humanities. Who knows, maybe my long-ago dream of becoming an attorney is also not off the old proverbial table. Many years ago, I began a trek towards becoming a corporate attorney and I minored in finance, but making money and being wealthy is no longer what I wish to do these days. Tangible wealth does not beget happiness, it merely dawns a path of regret that many do not see until it is too late. [Tangent]...Anyway...Perhaps the career in the computer science field is also going to elude me, but by my own accord.
These days I find myself being drawn towards helping other people, so that in turn, they may help themselves. The life of an altruist is only enhanced by the good he or she does for other people, and the only thing that can impede an altruist's will is the person who stares back at him or her in the mirror. Yep, these days I want to look at myself in the mirror and know that the person staring back at me is helping other people and no longer places monetary value on life's achievements. Lately, my mantra has taken a significant turn. My new-found belief is that success is being happy with oneself and helping other people.
AnYwAy...there are three special and important [in his or her own way] people that I would like to thank for all the hard work that he or she put forward while helping me get through the winter interim course. Thank-you a million times over to: Wendy, Gerardo, and Ana. Without your indulgence and cooperation, I would have had a truly difficult time getting through the course - much less having passed it with high marks. You guys rock. You are solid individuals, and I expect good things from each and every single one of you. I know I have said that over a thousand times [exaggerating], but I honestly do mean everything I ever told each of you in person or wrote to each of you in an email, text, and such. Keep up the good work, guys, and maybe one day I will be able to repay the favor. I am always here and around. I never forget a favor, and I never turn my back on a friend. Maybe the opportunities I was afforded through partaking in the online winter interim course will pan out for me... Wherever I go and whatever I do, I will always think of you three.
~ When good fortune is bestowed upon your doorstep, embrace it, love it, enjoy it, but always pay it forward.
~ Dora Dominguez Carey
Sunday, January 25, 2015
WELCOME to Familia Dominguez: Our newest addition to the family, Giana Evalyn!
The legacy continues...
Baby Gamboa:
Giana..."Meets grandma Betty!"
Sunday, January 25, 2015
Sunday, January 25, 2015
(My beautiful sis and my gorgeous new great-niece)
"Finally grandma Honey and Giana meeting in person for the first time on Sun Jan. the 25 th,Yay!
(Thx for sharing the pic, sis Aurora)
Saturday, January 24, 2015
WELCOME to Familia Dominguez: Our newest addition to the family, Giana Evalyn!
The legacy continues...
Baby Gamboa:
Giana..."Ready to go home!"
Saturday, January 24, 2015
Saturday, January 24, 2015
(Thx for sharing the pic, Rudy
a.k.a. "the proud daddy")
Thursday, January 22, 2015
WELCOME to Familia Dominguez: Our newest addition to the family, Giana Evalyn!
Giana celebrated her actual birthday today: Day of Birth!
She is a gorgeous baby.
May G-d's love and light always shine upon you, little one!
Our family is extremely elated and overjoyed by your birth.
The legacy continues...
Baby Gamboa:
Giana..."Ready for the World!"
Thursday, January 22, 2015
Thursday, January 22, 2015
The proud parents:
Rudy and Veronica
with Baby G.
(Thx for sharing the pic, Rudy
a.k.a. "the proud daddy")
I posted this to show-off my brand new great-niece's family.
They are sitting down and includes my nephew, Rudy, and his family.
L2R: Rudy, his daughters Gracie and Gabby, and his wife Veronica.
And of course standing are my sisters and I with other family members.
L2R: My sis Betty, my sis Josie, my niece Michelle, me, My sis Aurora,
my niece Felicia, and my sis Eva.
Standing alone in the back (behind Aurora) is my brother-in-law Jabier.
Friday, January 16, 2015
Dora's Corner: Heartache: A Culmination of Love: Past and Present!
...For I am not Gatsby, but I have known a love so magnificent that mere mortals can never comprehend. I have had a Daisy in my life, but in my realm of the world, she came without a Tom. Daisy has entered my once-happy life and cruelly swung a pendulum of so-called love right before my eyes, but just like her doppelgänger from the haunting novel, this Daisy retreats ever so mercilessly with the pendulum. Like a thief in the night, she has denied me reciprocal love. This Daisy mocks me, but she does it without realizing what she does, but still, I wonder...is she fully aware of her actions, yet willingly continues on a destructive path to tear up my world. Robbing my world of a sweet love that I am certain that she has never known because she remains child-like in her rebellion of real love. No, there is no Tom in this story who can be held liable for Daisy's crude and unbearable actions, but still, there remains so much disregard by this Daisy for the kind of love that I offer. This Daisy continually avoids me and ignores me. Her true beauty I am sure she does not see, perhaps she silently carries a disdain for herself which makes her unable to share her feelings and her love with another. Poor, foolish me, it is I who must pay dearly for this Daisy's uncertainty and ambiguity which keeps her from extending any love to another. Yes, poor me, I must also suffer in silence; silent lucidity indeed. I must retreat or I will go mad, and I will forever be stuck in a maddening world from which there is no return. I must continue to love in unnatural reticence. Still, I keep on loving this Daisy regardless of where she is or how she feels - or does not feel. It is my penance to admire her in shame, and to forever love her while I remain alone and lonely, heart-broken and heartless, hapless and unable to be happy.
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