So, once again I find myself feeling rather shaken up by a dream. It's one of those dreams where you wake up feeling like you're still in the dream. The people from the dream remain vivid. The conversations are still wreaking havoc inside your head. The ethos, pathos, and logos of the events are playing via a loop, and it just leaves you wondering why. WHY? Why am I dreaming of this person who hasn't been in my life for over two decades; I haven't spoken to her in almost one decade (since my mom passed away). Do I need to do something about the dream? Is it closure I need? I really don't think closure is really an issue here. Should I talk to my mentor in the counseling grad program or should I talk to my therapist. If I do talk to someone about it, am I doing it to get some kind of weird validation, so I can justify reaching out to the protagonist in my dreams. What is it about some dreams that leave us rattled to our core? I mean, I'm not going to lie and say I don't miss this person who's been enveloping my thoughts following said dreams but is it really apropos to try to reach out to her. As I stated, I haven't had communication with her much for years. I miss her terribly. I miss our conversations, but it could be that I am missing someone and some things that most likely have changed. Am I really ready to put myself out there only to face disappointment or melancholia for a world that no longer exists the way it once did? Perhaps the disturbing dreams and their frequent occurrences are because that world that I envision within myself really never existed. Not in the sense that reconnecting with it can really do me any good in this point in my life. Maybe the dreams are a way for me to channel the truth.
No comments:
Post a Comment