Book of D: The Death of Ivan Ilyich (Leo Tolstoy): What If My Whole Life Has Been Wrong

What If My Whole Life Has Been Wrong! Imagine spewing those very words from your mouth. To even imagine thinking that there might be some truth in it. Oh, the horror of it all. Right? Well, maybe not. We all have choices. In the novel by Leo Tolstoy (whose novels I have come to truly enjoy late in life), the death of Ivan has made things complicated for many of the characters. For the protagonist, he has come to realize that life is empty and vain. Death is indeed inevitable while career, social status, and wealth are temporary and bereft of a real legacy. The novel does not elucidate the meaning of life, but it does somewhat unmask the human desire to seek a sense of greater significance out of existence ala existentialism. I know many people whose sense of being is earmarked by material and monetary successes, but I have also known those who learned that success is usually attached to a sense of loving and connectedness. As for me, I am fortunate that I learned early enough that my life is my own, and what I make of it is inherently up to me. There is no predetermined dogma. I have to figure out what I want my life to be - not what I was put on this earth to be. And, at the end of the day, I decided my life is not wrong. I decided to be happy basking in the love and joy of familial relationships and community; providing a hand up for others. Material wealth is not for me. I choose organic happiness.