Book of D: Not Even Santa Can Bypass TSA Security

Okay, so the other day santa was chilling at the front gates of the airport. He looked kind of shady, in my opinion. He looked like he wanted to smoke, but knowing he could not, he just looked perturbed. He was in the airport express ticket line but didn't have the proper ticket. He was getting upset, but he didn't yell at anyone. He kept right on like he knew what he was doing - even though those of us who had been keeping our eyes on him knew better. I'm not sure if maybe he was drunk or high or anything sinister like that, but he did look rather unusual. Even as the other customers got past the ticket area and made their way to the TSA area, they kept watch over this guy. For one, why was he even allowed to don the santa suit. It was funny but not funny. This santa thought he was going to be able to bypass the TSA security check-in procedures. He was made to take off his hat, wig, and beard - and he was getting livid. He really lost it when security asked him to remove his boots. And, oh, man . . . talk about causing a scene. He was a black person, so he used the race card to justify his claim of discrimination and loudly said, "if I had been a White santa, no one would have questioned me, but because my skin is dark, I am getting hounded. If my skin was white, I would've walked right on through." The TSA rep said, "no, sir. This has absolutely nothing to do with the color of your skin or your race." The man in the santa suit yelled at the rep and asked her why then were they holding him back, he was late to his gate. The TSA rep said, "once again, sir, we're not discriminating against you because of your color but you must know that are we not authorized to allow santa or any of his elves or reindeer to pass through the security area, regardless of color, or how many legs they have without first getting scanned and checked out thoroughly." Everyone burst out in laughter. I know I did. That response by the TSA rep was awesome! The guy in the santa suit calmed down and removed all the articles he had been asked to remove. He collected his personal belongings and proceeded to leave the TSA area, but he added, "man, santa can't even catch a fucking break these days. Only in America!"The TSA rep responded with, "Yeah, only in America does santa think he is special, too!" OMG. That was hilarious. I still don't understand how this guy was allowed to wear the outfit in the airport. Honestly, I was looking out for a boxcutter. No, not because the guy was black, but because he was being irrational. There's a time and a place to use the race card, but this was clearly not the time to use it. Santa is still expected to follow all the same rules and regulations as the rest of us humans. LOL. I'm just glad everything turned out okay, but I was especially glad that this santa was not booked on the same flight as we were.You can't make this stuff up, folks. I witnessed this first-hand. It was a daunting scene that played out that day, but what a story to share with my family at Christmas.