Book of D: FIFA World Cup, Qatar, Human Rights ... Versus My Love of Soccer

The world-wide quadrennial tournament is underway. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I'm not referring to the peoples' physiognomy or outward appearances, I'm referencing the wayward and extremely antiquated politics and values of Qatar. Regardless of how people around the world view the country of Qatar, this year's World Cup is predicted (by statistical computation and algorithms) to attract 5 billion viewers — almost two-thirds of the planet’s population. Already, there has never been a World Cup anything close like Qatar 2022 - and this is before a soccer ball (fútbol) has even been kicked. There are a myriad of human rights groups in uproar and protest over everything from the mistreatment of LGBTQ people in Qatar where homosexuality is illegal as well as questions surrounding the mysterious deaths of the construction workers who have been exhaustingly building the facilities in Qatar. The storied organizer FIFA is trying to recover from scandals laden with outcries of corruption that have cast aspersions in relation to how Qatar was even considered and awarded the World Cup competition. Erstwhile, Sepp Blatter, FIFA chief, went on record to say he regretted that the Gulf country was picked as host. FIFA is adept at availing itself of the onerous responsibility of picking a host site every four years - much like the Olympics. So for anyone at FIFA, the world's most powerful (and loathed) sports organization, to attempt to show remorse for choosing such a dreadful location, I call blasphemy and ignominy (shame). Qatar is not only hateful in its maltreatment of women and the LGBTQ community, but its antiquated kafala labour system endangers austerity, poverty, and success among those still seen as part of the outgroup and outliers within its hidden caste system. Still, FIFA and the World Cup remain popular and prosperous. One writer said it best regarding the doubtless popularity of FIFA and the World Cup: the sport remains one of the last bastions of live television viewing considering how audiences have been fleeing traditional broadcasters for online streaming services in the last few years (2022).

As for me and my love of soccer (fútbol), it started in the 90s when Mia Hamm and company reigned supreme in the sport of women's' soccer. The United States Womens National Team (USWNT) was on fire and winning competition after competition. My girlfriend during that time was from Mexico, and a huge fútbol fan to boot (pardon the pun), so she provided much insight and tutelage to this American who did not yet fully appreciate "fútbol." As my education in soccer grew, so did my love of the sport. It was around the same time I started loving cycling and Le Tour de France. My gf taught me the logistics of soccer, but I ventured off on my own to learn the names of the players, their positions, how the pitch is controlled and how pitch is another name for the playing field, how the kit is the name for the standard equipment and attire worn by players, etcetera. G-d I adore soccer (fútbol), and I am so proud to be one of the first Americans to appreciate the beautiful game - before it gained in popularity in the USA. With all that stated, I wish I could boycott the current World Cup games, but I cannot. For my love of the game and of my National teams is much too mighty and potent. I scream and yell for all our National teams, so when World Cup soccer rears its face, I succumb and watch. Afterall, it's not every day that I get to cheer on Team USA. Before I end the post, one question: Why in the world did the USMNT not play Gio Reyna vs Wales on Tuesday, Nov. 21, 2022? The USMNT should have won that game 1-0 instead of allowing Wales to score for a 1-1 draw in the Group B opener. Team USA's most solid defender, Walker Zimmerman, foolishly conceded a futile penalty 10 minutes from fulltime, which then allowed Team Wales' own Gareth Bale the pk, which he "cashed in" in emphatic fashion to level the score, 1-1. Team USA never recovered. Again, where was Gio? We needed the three points, one point at this juncture might not be enough to make it out of the group. J.S. 

Book of D: Familial Gathering and a Chill Weekend

Today, my sis J, her hubby, daughter (whom I consider my daughter), and I attended the early Thanksgiving Day celebration with our late Mom's family here in Midland. My cousins are the children of my favorite aunt, whom was my Mom's favorite sister on their Mother's side of the family. Confusing, I know. My cousin Stella lives in Midland (where Josie and I live). In fact, we three don't live very far from one another. Stella rented the Girl Scouts (GS) Center in Midland for the nice occasion. It was a pretty nice establishment.

(L2R): Jabier, Alex, Josie, Dora

Overall, the event was lovely, and the food was delicious and plentiful. My cousins hit a homerun. It was really nice to see my cousins after so many years. Most of us had not seen each other since my Mom's funeral eleven years ago. My aunt J (my fav aunt) was unable to attend the dinner; she had a personal issue to tend to, so her and my other cousins from Ulysses, KS were not able to drive down to spend the day with us all. 

I was proud of myself for attending if I must be honest. Since covid, I have been somewhat of an introvert. I have clinically diagnosed OCD and anxiety, so being around so many people, related or not, is sometimes a struggle for me. Plus, I lost hearing in my left ear back in 1996, so that hearing condition just adds to the stress and anxiety that being around crowds induces. Not being able to properly hear conversations is not the only issue caused by hearing loss, the other negative obstacle is that I end up with a loud ringing in my ear when I am around too many people. It is not Tinnitus - it's more like otosclerosis. According to specialists/doctors, otosclerosis can be treated with a hearing aid, but surgery is often required. I don't want surgery. Anyway, getting out and being around large crowds makes me uneasy, but today, I decided that I was not going to disappoint my sister or my cousin since I had already given my word that I would attend the family celebration. 

Saldivar Cousins (L2R):
Dora, Josie, Annette,
Stella, JR, Rachel, Ruby

My cousins are wonderful. They are my favorite cousins because they have always made my family and I feel welcomed and loved. They are not pretentious whatsoever. Rich or poor, they are all modest and unassuming. Plus, they adored my Mom and respected her and pampered her whenever she visited with them. That, my friends, goes a very long way in my book, per se. Moreover, when I arrived at the GS Center, my cousins asked about my wife. I explained that she was unable to attend. It was so liberating to be so open about my relationship. They even asked how long we had been "married" - to which I answered, 25 years next March. They were all talking about how long they had been married, so it was refreshing to have been included. They asked if my wife and I had plans to celebrate the 25 years, and I said that we hope to vacation in Costa Rica or Alaska. I wish my wife could have attended, but I forgot that the gathering was today, so when my sis and her family had already arrived at the GS center, my sis texted me and asked if we were still planning on attending. I said yes, then I had to make a mad dash to get ready. My wife wanted to stay home and relax. I did not blame her for not being in the mood to get up and get ready so quickly. She has been traveling a lot for work to train her employees on new policies and procedures with DPS; therefore, I was cool with her decision to stay home. 

I am grateful that I have had a really good weekend. After the last two weeks of ups and downs at work, I was ready for this weekend. Saturday was spent just mellowing out and binge watching season 5 of The Crown, followed by Ŧexas Ŧech Red Raider football. They beat Iowa St. and became "bowl eligible!" Yeah, buddy . . . #WreckEm! Sunday, my spouse and I slept in a little. I woke up first, made coffee, fed my late, beautiful Caty's clowder. I was so happy to see that all the cats (which includes four kittens) made it through the frigid night. I made a shelter for them after conducting much research about how to prepare adequate cover for feral cats during cold weather. I made brunch for my honey and myself, then we settled in to watch the 2022 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, which we missed last night on HBO since we decided to watch A Christmas Story Christmas - after our Red Raiders won their game. Wow. Seeing it in writing makes me worry that we watched too much tele. LOL. It's all good. We actually did a lot of things aside from watching t.v. this weekend. After the family gathering, I went to buy items for our family Thanksgiving Day celebration in Big Spring this Thursday. I will be making the ham, so off to HEB I went to get the ham and other items. Speaking of actual Thanksgiving Day, it has been much too long since my sisters, their respective families, and I have gotten together to celebrate Thanksgiving. Thanks, covid. So, we are all looking forward to just being together. We're celebrating at my sis Eva's beautiful new home. Yay! 

Book of D: The Art Between a Disagreement and an Argument

A disagreement and an argument are totally different. A disagreement is when both parties are trying to make a positive change - while an argument is when one party is trying to win. If you're arguing with someone you love, that should be the time when you shouldn't want to win. Why would you want to win over someone you're supposed to care deeply about. Right? (rhet.)

Thanks to the indomitable Terry Lewis for saying something similar to this during his acceptance speech; I paraphrased his eloquent comment 😉. Lewis, along with his career partner and friend, Jimmy Jam, were inducted during the 2022 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Lewis and Jam (a.k.a. James Harris III) are one of the most successful writer-producers of the 1980s till this very day. The musical artists and community with whom they have collaborated is simply astounding. Anyway, I just had to put that out there regarding the art between a disagreement and an argument.

Book of D: Letting Go Without Getting Scathed

Not long ago, one of my friends, who had just broken up with his girlfriend of nine years, told me, “I really hate that almost everything I’ve had to let go of in my life has scratch marks on it.” I took it as him trying to describe what a difficult time he was having with things he has no control over. I definitely relate to that - as I’m sure many people can, too. I must confess that I have had a hard time letting go of certain things in my own life. At certain junctures, I also found myself scathed and scratched up from my inability to accept things and let go.

Laws of Karma

I accept culpability for my part in it, but I also hold the other parties accountable. I am not so omnipotent where I should take full blame for things because everything good and bad takes more than one person to carry out. 

Additionally, I'm no longer that silly, confused, lovestruck person who basically let others walk all over me while I, conversely, partook in some ill behavior as retribution. My coping mechanism at one time in my life was to hurt others the same way they had hurt me. It's not an excuse, it's a fact. I do not condone my inferior actions, but I no longer castigate myself for being that way because I did not know how to funnel my feelings or to control them. My initial response to things that hurt me was to fight back. I have always despised being ignored, too, so whenever anyone ignored me, well, that was also cause for me to be a nonsensical hater. I hate that part of my life, but I cannot change it. I have accepted what I did, and for those I hurt, I have made peace with and forgiven myself. I was told by an intellect and kind of a Yoda wizard that when we put hurt out into the world and recognize that we have done so, we only owe it to ourselves and maybe even karma, or whatever deity we believe in, to be remorseful and to do better going forward. He added that we are never expected to apologize to those we hurt unless it is with purpose. In other words, apologies are for the people who have been static in our lives and will continue to be. And while regret is okay in moderation, apologies should be held for those who truly matter. Apologizing to someone who has not been in your life for a long time is nonsensical and self-deprecating. My Yodaesque acquaintance went on to explain that karma works much like the biblical "you reap what you sow." He recommended that people ask themselves what they need to release so they can create space for the thing(s) they desire in their lives. In essence, like a computer, clean out the files that are unessential and do nothing for us in order to make space for the truly important files. 

So, let's print out a "circle of control" worksheet and rethink what we can and cannot control. Maybe we can even create a Venn diagram to show how some items and people might belong in the middle of the "can/cannot" control area. But, to keep true to today's post, let's be more methodical and contribute more good will to our own lives so we are able to put good things into the world. Let's keep ourselves from getting scathed by holding on to the people and things that are not good for us. Let it go!

Book of D: Remembering an Icon: Mama

Today marks 11 years since we lost Mom to esophageal cancer. Not one day goes by that I don’t think about her – or miss her. When she passed away, my sisters and I became the elders of the family. I have taken that to heart, but as I try to lead within my family, I have stumbled and failed. Trying in earnest to fill some pretty big shoes – almost always falling short. 

Eva M. Dominguez
(1934 - 2011)

The reason I shared the Christina Applegate post earlier, on social media, was to not just commend her for sharing her story about multiple sclerosis, but because I wanted to share my mom's story and how she dealt with her autoimmune issues and fought back against their debilitating condition – day after day . . . until she went home to meet her Maker. Much like MS and other autoimmune diseases, doctors still don't know from where they originate, or why some people get one illness and other people don't; whether it's genetic or environmental. Esophageal cancer, like MS, is diagnosed late in the illness . . . often making it too late to do anything. My mom was diagnosed at stage 4, and there was little to be done about it, but my mom didn't give up. She kept going, day after day, never giving up, and instilling in us the will to fight because of her own will to fight. She never wavered. We watched in horror and heartache as Mom succumbed to the cancer monster, which I have termed it for public use rather than call it what I usually do in private, and with each passing day, she lost weight because she reached the point in the terminal illness of not being able to eat. Imagine everything that accompanies it; it is much too vulgar and heartbreaking for me to include, plus, it is extremely triggering. 

My mom lives in me. She taught me everything I know right now about loving and listening. Like Albert Bandura (who is my favorite theorist) posited, I learned to socialize and how to treat others well as a child – by way of example more than anything through Mom. I was fortunate to have been her daughter because she instilled in me many values and mores and how it’s best to give a leg up instead of a hand down.

Through Mom, I learned to just listen. If there is one piece of advice I would like to provide to everyone reading this, it would be this: learn to listen to other people with intent and don't listen to respond. Don't be ready to lend advice or make an unneeded comment just to overcome the silence for that denotes it being more about you than about the person you’re supposed to be listening to. I promise you'll learn more about yourself when you listen with a purpose. 

The day of Mom’s funeral, many people reached out to me and my sisters. They shared stories of how my mom had helped them. People I didn't know were approaching me that day to tell how my mom provided shelter, money, food, love, understanding, and compassion, and more often than not, how Mom merely provided the kindness of listening. Yes, many strangers came forward and shared Mom’s stories with us, and it meant a lot to me; I know it meant a lot to my sisters and family. My mom helped other people, not through community, but by standing alone and just doing the right thing. Mom was rich through love; she loved without condition and others reciprocated her love because “how could they not?” She was rich with caring for and about others. She was rich through helping other people without question. She was magnanimous. I've often said that the one word I would always use to describe my mom is magnanimous. 

Through the stories of a hero as defined through canon by the great Joseph Campbell, my mom was a hero. She will always be my hero. ¡Te extraño, Mama!

Book of D: The Wild Doesn't Feel Sorry for Itself

“I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. 

D. H. Lawrence

 A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough 

without ever having felt sorry for itself.” 

 ― D.H. Lawrence, The Complete Poems of D.H. Lawrence

Why is it that humans can't follow suit? After all, humans are supposed to be smarter, right? I know. I know. As humans, our intelligence quotient differs from that of our emotional intelligence, which posits that we're going to eat our emotions and stomp all over making sound decisions. Feeling sorry for ourselves as humans is what sets us apart from the animal kingdom, but is it okay that we use it as an excuse to be assholes to others whenever we're having an emotionally inept kind of day? To this I answer, "NO!" Nothing ever gives us humans the right to mistreat anyone or anything. It's okay to have a pity party from time to time, but it has to stop at one point, and it must never impede upon or create negativity onto another living person, animal, or thing.

Book of D: The 🧡 and Center of the Center

Earlier this morning, our division boss came over to our area so we could follow him to the Student Activity Center (SAC). As it turns out, the furniture for the new Center for Student Belonging and Inclusion (CSBI), which is housed on the second floor of the SAC, arrived an entire month early. The furniture arrived and was set up yesterday. The new CSBI is a beautiful area. It used to be the gaming room, but the decision to move the gamers to a new center at the library was made by the university; that new gaming area is going to be a cool area, too. It has been a long, arduous process to get the gaming room renovated into the CSBI. The staff that is fortunate enough to move there is very excited. The furniture is nice and new. The area just needs to be cleaned (swept, mopped, and dusted), of which I so eloquently (or stupidly) volunteered to be the "lead." Not to clean, which is okay because no one is ever too good to clean, it's an honest living. My vol task was to contact the account manager, of the 3rd party cleaning company the U contracts with, and request that they please clean the CSBI. Anyway . . .

So, to my sheer and utter disappointment, I will not be joining my cohorts to the new CSBI. My role as the UTPB Coordinator of Health and Wellness Promotion is taking on new duties. I'm not sure yet what all that means and entails. Our boss has not been as forthright as we would like for him to be with several of us. I guess being "in the loop" is above our pay grade. There are two of us at the present area who did not "make the cut," per se, and will not be following our other colleagues to the CSBI. Both of us talked after the walkthrough with our boss, and we each expressed our disappointment at not being included in the move to the CSBI where students will be made to feel like they "belong" and are "included." I guess the sentiment of "belonging and inclusion" only applies to students and not to staff. Yeah, that was me being petty and a smart ass. But, am I not allowed to be. After all, for almost two years, I was told that my programs would be a vital part of the CSBI. Two of the newbies are going to the CSBI. I'm not mad at them; their programs are definitely vital and should be part of the CSBI, but I also have the right to feel indignant and despondent over not being included in the move. I knew there was a time when my role would change, but it has not been made clear to-date, so all I know is that I will be moving to the 4th floor near the counseling area. My boss called me on my office phone yesterday and asked how I would feel about "taking Stacie's old office" - to which I politely declined. Rest in peace, Stacie, I respectfully do not want your office. Poor Stacie has barely been gone a week, and the boss is already making plans for her office. That's just not very kosher or cool. You pick which one, but for me, it's both. Plus, it's cynical, trite, and vile to move so quickly after a person has died. But, that's the kind of boss we sometimes have. While he is highly intelligent, knowledgeable, and ambitious, his managerial and people skills are severely lacking. I am happy for my coworkers who do get to move to the CSBI. I won't act in a negative manner towards them or around them. It is what it is. Life happens when we're busy worrying for others. Bottom line, it's dire that we keep all eyes open when working at a university because who you know is as important as the degree that hangs on your office wall. Enjoy the pics.

 

Book of D: Boba Fett & Boba Tea

Earlier today, UT Permian Basin hosted "Boba and Panel Chat" for International Education Week! The event was sponsored by our very own Center for Student Belonging and Inclusion; moreover, Stephanie, our Program Coordinator for International Student Services, served as the event emcee. It took place at the Student Activity Center (SAC) Starbucks Café at 10 a.m.. 

 

Steph was nice enough to bring John and me some Boba ("bubble") tea prior to the event starting. I love that Boba stuff. I asked her if Boba Fett would be at the event, and she just stared at me like 'I don't really know who that is?' LOL. It was funny. John took a while before he got the joke.

Unfortunately, all my fellow Star War's buddies work in other departments on campus, so my dry sense of humor, well, it remains so unappreciated. 😅 The event was nice. We had four of our professors on the panel. Each one from a different country with different experiences on how they journeyed to the U.S.. For the most part, each professor stated that higher education, though extremely tough at times, was the main reason they came to this country. I did some research following the event to see how having a PhD might help a foreigner obtain a green card, and I found some information on VISA Nation that explained it. The following was stated:

"While your Ph.D. does not automatically grant you a green card, you may find that many of the requirements for the EB-1A or EB-1B have been fulfilled throughout your studies. Things like exclusive memberships, scholarly published articles, and acting as a judge are all things that may go along with getting your degree" (2022).

So, I did further research because I wanted to know exactly what EB-1A and EB-1B meant, and it is extremely interesting. However, it is all much too long and not at the heart of today's blog topic, so maybe I will write about it at a later time. That's it in a nutshell, folks! It's time to make tracks.

Book of D: The Admonishing Wind

Today's funeral service for Stacie was quite somber but really nice. (Stacie's obits: Legacy & Sunset Funeral Home)

As for the weather, it was a fairly cold day with moderate winds blowing on and off. The temp during the service reached 49°, but it felt colder because of the winds. The winds were ominous to say the least. As if to warn or reprimand us in firm fashion, the wind could be heard from outside the funeral parlor. The mighty wind seemed intent on crashing in to remind us that we are mere mortals with absolutely no power. A clamorous yell through the mighty air prompting us that the power still belongs to an entity that we are not deserving to know - not now or perhaps never. The pockets of air were accompanied by a fire and brimstone eulogy that probably would have had Stacie herself scratching her head in angst and dubiety. I do not claim to know Stacie's relationship to G-d - nor do I claim to know her relationship with her family, I only lay claim to the myriad of conversations she and I had in the past that left me somewhat perplexed following the funeral service because she always stated that she was more spiritual than religious. Anyway, it is was it is, and the service was still nice as I stated. There were many people in attendance. Our division alone sported around 50 people in attendance at the funeral, which is not bad considering our division has around 80 employees. I was impressed and proud of how many of our "Falcon family" attended.

An email from Corey, our boss, went out on Sunday to let us know how we would proceed with Monday's funeral. Corey also had a "We Are Falcons" flag flown over campus Monday in Stacie's honor. Stacie's mom, dad, and some family members were given a grand tour Monday of the university before the funeral service - during the tour, the flag was presented to her family. I had the good fortune of partaking in a nice conversation with Stacie's mom before the funeral service started; she is a kind lady. I told her I was holding her and the family in my heart.

I will always remember Stacie as the vibrant and intelligent person she was. I had the privilege of training with Stacie when I moved from Student Success to the Dean of Students/Student Affairs. We had experts from UT Austin come up to train us in the area of BASICS and CASICS. Eventually, those programs, along with Bystander Intervention and the Tobacco Use Initiative, came to live with me, and me alone, on a permanent basis. Stacie, as the lone student counselor, believed the programs were punitive to her role, so I became the lone facilitator, and I have never looked back. On occasion, I would seek her advice, but most often, she would simply say, "you got this." Our times together on campus are included in the pictures. There were too many to include, so I am posting the really eventful ones.