Dora's Corner: Just Pondering: Why People Change and Why They Do The Hurtful Things They Do (1of2)?!!

     Here I go once again pondering "why?"  So many questions, and still not enough answers.  Even my curiosity for asking so many questions is a question, in itself.  Why do I have to know so much about things that should clearly no longer matter to me. 

     So...I ponder with why people change.  I know we all have to change.  I am not so naïve to think that change is not part of the realm in which we all live, and to which we eventually succumb.  I adhere to such an unwritten rule.  I realize that we, as humans, need change.  I especially agree with what the character, in one of my all-time favorite sci-fi movies, DUNE (1984), said about change;

Duke Leto Atreides: "I'll miss the sea, but a person needs new experiences. They jar something deep inside, allowing him to grow. Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken."

     I love that part/quote in the movie because it is so true.  I am not against the reason why people change as much as I loathe how they change.  Most often, as it has been my personal experience, some people do not change for the better.
     Many previous friends of mine have undergone such negative change.  That is okay, though.  If that is what they need to get through life, then it has to be okay; okay for them.  However, for me, if I have changed for the worse, then I hope someone lets me know.  If my change has been for the best, then good.  I just never want to regret that my change was bad.

     As I did change through the years, I hope that I never hurt or created strife for anyone.  Long ago, I admit that I was a hot-headed, immature person; seeking retribution was too quick and easy for me.  I have not been that revenge-seeking person in a long time.  I wish certain, previous friends knew me now.  I regret that they may only remember that odd, unhappy, and vengeful person.  I outgrew that person.  I reached a point in life when it was no longer okay for me to be spiteful and negative--so I changed.  With that change came much reward.  But such change also came much too late as I also lost a lot.  I lost friendships I once cherished.  If I could add change to my changes, I would want my friends back so that they could know me now.  I would want to wipe out past, negative memories they may have had of me.

Just one of my takes for the day (another one follows)...

     

Dora's Corner: Just Pondering: Why People Change and Why They Do The Hurtful Things They Do (2of2)?!!

.....Some change is good, but some is also so, so bad!
     The negative change of my ex is what doomed another previous friendship of mine.  Maybe I had it coming and my ex got her revenge by interfering in and ruining another friendship that I once cherished.  I have written about this topic many times so I will not get into much detail about it.  I just want to put it out there for that special someone, whom might one day read this blog of mine, and come across this (and the other posts), and know how deeply regretful I am that we could not continue our friendship all these years ago.  Whether I had a direct impact on the bad things that this other person did to you, to make you think it was I who did them to you, I sincerely apologize.  That is the best I have to offer you!

     I know why you changed back then, and why you decided to erase me from your new life.  I accepted it so that you could be happy.  I wanted you to be happy because it would help me to seek happiness of my own.  I left you alone as you indirectly wanted of me.  Only a handful of occasions did I reach out to you.  Not for comfort or solace as I had those things.  I just needed to hear your voice, and to know that you were still out there--listening to me.  I now know why you may have had such disdain for me all these years later.  Please just believe me when I say that I did not mean for you to be hurt.  I accept all culpability for everything that I did, but I cannot accept any accountability for the bad things someone else did to you just to spite me.  I have a difficult time expressing how disappointed I am that you could believe I would ever harm you.  Part of me is angry with you, and then there is the other part of me that could never stay angry with you.  I forgive you.  You no longer know me---especially the new me who wishes we could have remained friends.  I no longer know you either, but I do forgive you for being made to think that I had any ill feelings towards you or that I could think so little of you, and of our previous friendship, that I could do things to hurt you, to anger you, or to make you not want anything further to do with me.  I hope one day...  Not sure what I hope.  All I know is this simple passage: "I did love you once!

     Forgiveness is forgiveness, but hurt is still hurt.  Everyone hurts someone at one time, then they forgive.  Forgiveness might be the easiest part of getting hurt--it is the forgetting part that is difficult.  In ending, I would be remiss if I did not quote one of my favorite poets, Pablo Neruda: "Love is so short, forgetting is so long."

Just my take for the day!

Dora's Corner: Defying the Defiant!

     I am a defiant person by nature, and I must insist on my autonomy as well.  I like knowing that everything I have is because of my hard work.  I do always try to give (respective) credit to those around me, whom have assisted me in my accomplishments! 

     Lately, I regret to say, I have come to notice that certain people I know/knew, have changed in a manner that leaves a sour taste in my mouth.  They believe that they are better than me, better than other people.  They chide others while they wrongly partake in self-praises.  If they could throw parades for themselves, I am certain they would.  They have become rather crude, insensitive, much too prideful, always unaccountable for their negative actions and their juvenile-induced pride.  They believe that they have attained true success, although the entire time, they were riding on the coattails of another. 

If I ever become such a person, please someone slap me!

     Much of what I have done has been through much hard work; much sweat and many tears.  Many persons have helped me through-out my life.  Through my late mother's tutelage-of-life, I have learned to work hard and to study hard.  I am proud of what I have done.  I welcome all the changes, that must come my way, for me to continue being successful.  May it be via monetary means, love, family, with it all, may success continue to touch my life and never elude me.  The good L-rd willing--knock wood--may success always be one of my blessings!  May I always see my blessings and never take anything or anyone for granted.  May my pride never overshadow my life nor the people who stuck around and loved me without condition.

Just my take for the day!

Dora's Corner: Grading The Gatsby's (1-of-2): 1974 and 2013: Rich Girls Don't Marry Poor Boys!

...So I was caught in a bit of a pickle regarding the wonderful and magnificent movie, well, between the two most-known versions: The Great Gatsby (1974) and The Great Gatsby (2013).

The 1974 movie was not the first one made--not the last one made.  There are two previous movie versions of the F. Scott Fitzgerald novel prior to the '74 movie, and another one that lives, alone and sad, and in between the 1974 movie and the 2013 movie.  I won't discuss any of the others versions for they did not interest me too much.  You see, this person is a die-hard Robert Redford fanatic so there was no doubt that I would not allow myself to delve into the non-Redford versions...that is...until the 2013 version stirred my interest.

I am not really a Leonardo DiCaprio fan, but I am rather fond of Tobey Maguire.  Maguire is why I decided to watch the latter film version of this great, American classic novel turned-film.

Oh, but how did I protest watching the 2013 remake.  Why?  Well, first let me say that I did enjoy the 2013 film, which was directed and co-written (screenplay) by Baz Luhrmann.  It was similar to the 1974 film, but of course, both movies did stray somewhat from the Fitzgerald novel.  Novels always trump their film cousins with the cousins usually left in the dark like a red-headed-orphaned-step-child.  Movies seldom or never do a novel any justice. 
But, I must stress that some stories are too important, and do need to be told.  Movies like The Great Gatsby fall into that category; hence the novel.  However, sad but true, many people's interest is mostly captured through movies.  Hollywood discovered this fact early on, thus came story-telling via the big-screen.  More people are visual than imaginative (hmm?).  ANYWAY...

I read a lot of reviews by experts and by everyday people like myself.  Depending on one's age, I suppose, is what made people choose one over the other, but the 1974 version was decidedly picked time and time again over the 2013 film.  The latter film was torn apart more times and more severely for a variety of reasons; one being the soundtrack; most agreed that it was too modern.  I liked the songs especially "Young and Beautiful" by Lana Del Rey, but I did agree that some of the other songs did not add anything to the film, and at times, it detracted from the points the story was trying to tell.

Just one of my takes for the day--continued below...

Dora's Corner: Grading The Gatsby's (2-of-2): 1974 and 2013: Rich Girls Don't Marry Poor Boys!

...My own personal critique as follows...

 I did not like the opening of the 2013 movie with Nick in the sanitarium.  In the 1974 version, the movie begins with scenes of Gatsby's empty manor then it proceeds with Sam Waterston (whom also plays Nick Carraway) rowing a boat to the infamous East Egg as he starts to tell his tale.  In the '74 version, Waterston's portrayal of Nick is way more confident and mature than Maguire's character in Luhrmann's version. 

I was slightly disappointed and at times disgusted by Nick Carraway's character in the 2013 film.  Tobey Maguire did an excellent job at portraying Nick; he could only be as good as his role was written, and in my opinion, it was written badly.  In the 2013 version, Luhrmann made Nick appear very weak and feeble.  As I stated above, Maguire did well with what he was given, but with his version of Nick, he comes across like a naïve little school boy with a man-crush on Gatsby; almost too sycophant-like.  If I did not like Maguire, I would have completely disliked Carraway in this movie.  Overall, Nick is supposed to be more innocent and green than stupid.  The '74 movie nailed his character while the 2013 movie crushed it. 
In the 2013 movie, Gatsby was not as sincere and likable as he was in the 1974 movie.  Leonardo also did good with what he was given, but he might have nailed the role of Jay if he had not tried so hard to copy, or perhaps to outdo, the earlier role of Redford.  DiCaprio's version of Gatsby came across too rehearsed so each time he had to say "old sport," he just seemed too impish, matter-of-fact, annoying, and he just said it way too much.  Redford captured the aura of Gatsby to the letter so whenever the script called for him to recite "old sport," he came across very sincere, unrehearsed, and just rather nonchalant (in a good way)! I especially liked that he did not utter the tag phrase as much.
IMO, movies are made not just to entertain us, but also to make us forget that we are merely watching a movie.  Redford always takes me to the world where his movie resides.  The 1974 version had me thinking I was visiting the fictitious Egg Islands of New York where residing on East Egg means you have "old money" and living across the sound means you have "new money", which is bad.
Ugh, and then there is that Daisy.  Daisy was not a nice person by any means.  I was happy with the way she was portrayed by Farrow (1974), but the way Carey Mulligan (2103) portrayed her almost dared the audience for sympathy. No, we are never supposed to feel sorry for Daisy.  She does not mind that others might see her as a bit narcissistic as long as they do not really see her for who she really is.  Daisy is a self-loathing person with extremely low self-esteem.  She allows herself to be blind to Tom's philandering ways; it is okay that Tom has extramarital affairs as long as he comes home to her.  She is okay with being married to him because he belongs to that elite group of society with old money.  She cares too damn much about what others think of her.  What a pathetic woman she is.  She is part of the American Caste System.

As we should not feel sorry for Daisy, we should disregard any sympathy for Tom Buchanan.  Tom was not a nice person!  He was a philandering, elitist, carpet-bagger, socialite, and all-around son-of-a-bitch!  He was also an instigator, and he never took responsibility for the ill things he did.  It was always someone else's fault and Tom knew how to take blame away from himself--never caring who paid the consequences.  Bruce Dern (1974) for sure, IMO, did so much better than  Joel Edgerton (2013) with his right-on portrayal of the wayward Buchanan.
So I have torn apart the key characters in the 2013 version, but here is what I found mostly disturbing in the modern-day remake...

The most important, most poignant point in the 1974 movie is when Daisy tries, in vain, to explain to Jay why she did not wait for his return some eight years ago.  It is the moment in the movie that I love the best.  Though it is sad, heartbreaking and very narcissistic of Daisy to say, it is the way she feels because of her rich upbringing.  The 1974 film is classic in how it brings to light Daisy's cruel explanation as she shamelessly states to Gatsby: "rich girls don't marry poor boys!"  Oh how my heart aches for Jay.  The look on his face just makes me want to cry.  For I have been where he is when he hears those awful words; you are reminded that sometimes you are just not good enough.  Love is not enough.  Damn that caste system!  Mia Farrow manages to get the audience to feel sorry for her for a short while until we snap back to reality, and we cannot accept her pathetic justification for not waiting for the supposed "love of her life".  In the 2013 version, some unknown, unimportant, numbskull is allowed to utter those famous words, in passing, to Nick (Maguire) during one of  Gatsby's famous soirées.  Really 2013 version?!!  Leaving a nobody-actor to utter those words to a person in a supporting-cast role was so lame, and it added to the ripping apart of the classic tale.

Out of everything that was wrong with the 2013 Gatsby movie, and everything I could have bitched and complained about, it was using those famous words at the wrong time; wrong time, wrong person!  'Rich girls don't marry poor boys' is important.  Who says it, to whom it is said to, and the time during which it is said is important.  Darn that 2013 version.
You decide for yourselves which movie version you prefer.  You might even watch the other versions not listed in this post.  Personally, I will always pick the Redford, Mia Farrow film.  For that reason is why the review and comparison of the two versions was the one I liked and agreed with the best via Tinsel and Time.  TT also liked the 1974 film the best.
Jack Clayton directed the 1974 film while Francis Ford Coppola wrote the screenplay, and the way they allowed the characters to be portrayed was wonderful.  The key parts of the story were allowed to be key.  Luhrmann did a terrible injustice to the characters and to the storyline; he bumbled some of the most touching moments and instead covered it all up with loopy music.  But I still like and approve of how he used "Young and Beautiful" by Lana Del Rey.  That was one of the few good things.  Had the 2013 version been the only one made, and perhaps if the novel had not preceded it, then I would have liked it.  I really did like it as I stated, but in comparing the two--it is apples and oranges.

I still cannot fathom why Luhrmann would use the "rich girls don't marry poor boys" line out of context.  Can you imagine the line from another classic movie (Gone With The Wind)-- "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn" --being recited by a character actor to another character actor instead of by Clark Gable to Vivien Leigh (Rhett to Scarlett).  Utter craziness!

In closing I will combine some famous movie lines to one Baz Luhrmann as I express my disappointment towards his putrid attempt at remaking a classic:

"Rich girls sometimes do marry poor boys,

and if some people don't like it, frankly, my dear Baz, I don't give a damn!"

Just my take for the day!

Dora's Corner: I'm Back!

Lengthy vacay?  Yes, that is for sure, but I have returned to something I just love to do: write.    I have often said that writing is a catharsis for me, and it has been proven time and time again.  This little known fact about me was especially proven these last 15 days as I was unable to write for one reason or another.  I missed it terribly; as much as I yearn for those days of my youth and for those loved ones and friends long ago lost and left behind--I yearned for it all.  Getting back to writing, for me, was like coming home to familiar, loving surroundings.  It made me happy and whole.

I used to consider myself a bit of a sap because I missed things and people so much, and often it seemed as if I was the only person who felt this way.  I would reconnect with old friends, and it was always as if I missed them more than they did me.  Maybe I had issues with letting go.  Maybe I could even be categorized as a person with abandonment issues.  I did say "maybe."  I never had anyone abandon me, per se, but often, I do have these far-off feelings, as if at one time, perhaps I was left by someone I adored very much.  Like an echo heard only by me that desperately tries to remind me of what I have lost even though my mind does not recall such things.  Perhaps in another life, someone did abandon me thus creating certain feelings of despair.  Maybe it hurt me so much that those feelings dug themselves so deep within me that they carried over into a new life.  I do believe in reincarnation, by-the-way, so it is not such a far-fetched idea that I could have somehow carried hurt and despair into my other life.  Maybe that is why I have such feelings of melancholy for people, places and events no longer a part of my life.  Maybe my soul does miss things that I once loved so much in another life.  Things that my mind will not let me remember and my heart chose to shut down.

"Young and Beautiful," a song by Lana Del Rey, which was played in the 2013 version of The Great Gatsby is an example of the yearning I often feel for certain things and events.  Although the song is a beautiful piece accompanied by a masterful array of strings, and subtle but key percussion, it is rather a haunting piece.  For me, it is haunting.  It reminds me of things I experienced in my younger days;  things I now miss.  My best memories stem from my 20s and 30s; the things I did, the places I traveled, the people I met, it makes me happy, but sad.

It took me a long time to decipher and to understand my feelings of melancholy.  Too often, the confusion caused by undefined feelings, interfered in my relationships.  I mistook certain feelings and lost people because of lack of valuing our relationship as I should have.  By the same token, I also lost others by loving them too much.  As I stated, I learned how to tell the difference between feelings and thus relationships; the ships that pass in the night, the valuable ones, and the ones that needed to be free.  I learned to start taking in everything as if it was the last time.  Through losing relationships, friends, parents (so many loved ones), I have learned so much.

In getting older, I also learned that it was not only the people I lost whom I was actually missing, but so much more.  With the exception of my loved ones lost in death, and an old love I pushed away, all whom I miss terribly and would give anything for just one more moment, I learned that I was especially missing my youth.  Getting older and losing people who were so important will beat on your psyche and will quickly and rudely awaken any idiotic notion of immortality. 

Just my take for the day!

 

Dora's BIZ Corner: An Evening At A Seminar!

...Tonight was the much anticipated business seminar.  Sara and I were sent special (V.I.P.) invitations.  The business gurus leading the seminar are people whose business prospective strategies I have used for a long time.  As I have often stated, I do not have heroes outside my circle of family, but these people are as close as heroes might get--in my life.

I am so glad that we made this seminar.  We almost did not make it because of other business matters.  The topics covered were exactly two of the most intriguing topics that have captivated my attention for a long time.  We signed up for other work seminars and for a weekend training retreat.  I hope all of this leads to something positive.

Most of the topics, as I stated above, was not new to me.  The terminology was also well-known to me.  However, being able to use all that knowledge (old and new) is what I really wanted and needed to know.  It is like baking a cake.  You know which ingredients you need, but you are not sure how to mix it all together in a cohesive manner in order to garner the best outcome.  That cohesiveness is what this person requires in order to begin another venture in the real estate market.  I already deal in mortgage notes so this new market is kind of icing on the cake, per se.  I am now going to go full force with tax liens and buying foreclosed properties in order to flip for a huge profit.  I can do this.  I have been studying the real estate market for a long time.  At one time I even interned as a realtor.  It was short-lived, but I got a foot in and learned a lot.  It was because of the internship that I delved further into real estate. 

Real estate has always been a passion of mine.  Buying older homes, fixing them and selling has always been something I loved to do.  I am actually great at it.  Everyone who knows me knows that I always had a knack for building and fixing houses.  Bob Villa was someone I looked up to way before flipping got so popular.  Sure I love computer programming first and foremost; CP is my true career, but the real estate thing is what I would love to do on the side, and if I can become more successful doing that, then maybe CP will take a backseat. 

All I know is that I am ready to start on a path towards different, bigger and better.  Since I am already continuing my education in computer engineering, then this other real estate venture should not interfere.  I can do both things at once.  Just like I know that I will still have time for sports, politics, writing, etc...  It is all a new opportunity for me--a new day, if you will.  It is all good.  All I have to do now is to focus on what I have already learned and to be open to new ideas and to mesh it altogether to make lemonade.

Just my take for the day!

 

Dominguez Siblings: Happy #NationalSiblingsDay 2014!

In our family, we are blessed!

Happy #NationalSiblingsDay 2014!

Love to all siblings out there...enjoy yourselves!

Dora's BIZ Corner: To Start A Business Or Not To Start A Business!

...Well, when a person has too many options/choices, making decisions can become difficult.  Too many choices is often not a good thing.  Personally, when I have too many choices I tend to get a little irritated.  But not like I did 20 years ago.  Through the maturity of my later years, I have learned to retain my composure, but there remain days when some people just bite through the very last nerve I have for them.  LOL (or not)!

Anyway, I have the opportunity to open my own business, and I am not certain what I should do.  I am still following through with my return-to-college, but if I open a business or go into a joint venture with family or friends (more options), then school might take a backseat, per se. 

I am not sure if I want to open my own franchise, go into biz with family, go into biz with friends or to focus primarily on college.  I really want to tweak my computer programming skills and maybe apply for a job with the government (Austin, TX).  I have seen several postings on different job sites for government-related jobs in programming, IT, system's administration.  Sara works for the government and often brings job postings home to me or she emails job links to me.  The pay is bar none especially when you consider the fringe benefits.  The benefits alone are outstanding as is the tenure-track.  I know that tenure-track is more for college professors and such, but the government offers such a thing, but it is called something else--the term eludes me for the moment, but, hey, no big deal.

Anyway, the government jobs are everywhere in the state (TX), but the best ones are at our state capitol.  Matter-of-fact, all 50 states offer excellent opportunities as does our fare state.  I would not mind Arkansas.  Sara and I have been to Little Rock several times, and the camaraderie we experienced there was awesome.  The best area to live would be North Little Rock.  It can be pricey, but not as bad as Midland.  Heck, there are not many areas that are more expensive than Midland these days.  Midland is probably the most expensive area to live in for the entire state of Texas.  St. Louis, MO is another area that we fell in love with during our vast and many travels.  If Sara had her way (and one day she probably will), we would be living in NYC.  She would live anywhere in the New England area; she loves the cold and the ocean.  Perhaps I should clarify that she (like me) prefers the Atlantic over the Pacific.  Sara loves the snowy weather so any state along the eastern seaboard starting with the state of New York northbound to Maine would appease my Sara.  I know I would be happy living in NYC.  We just do NOT want to live in the south.  It is not progressive enough for us.  I do not welcome the cold weather as much, but I do love the vibes that a big city has...I will live almost anywhere as long as I am there living a healthy and happy life with the love of my life--Sara!

The chance to move has never been within reach and probable as it is right now.  For a long time I have wanted to move to another part of the state or to another state; anywhere as long as we live in a large city.  I love and welcome the opportunities that large cities would afford us.  I am a family-oriented person so I did not rock-the-boat when moving away came up.  I simply acknowledged that one day I would be open to the idea, but for many years my family was too important for me to make waves and move.  I especially wanted to be close in proximity to my mom.  Mom passed away a couple of years ago, and it hit me so hard.  Words fail to describe what her death did to me.  I am slowly coming around to find some kind of normalcy (whatever that is), and I am getting stronger.  With my Sara by my side, I feel myself ready to begin yet another chapter in my life.

So, with all of that stated above, I now need to decide what that next chapter in my life will be.  I know that we do not always get to do what we had hoped.  Like the saying goes (paraphrasing): "if you want to make G-d laugh, make plans!"  I have so many options before me right now as far as a career goes.  I have always been the type of person who needed to have a career.  I regret that I often do believe that a career defines a person.  Maybe I do not look at others in that manner, but I set the bar rather high for myself, and I do require a career of some sort.  Family still being important to me, but having a career is right up there after Sara, family, G-d, etc...  I have a career now, but it is far from what I want for myself.  I want more--not just to make money, but to enjoy what I will do for the rest of my life.  Like the other adage goes: "if you do something that you love, then you will never work a day in your life!"

Just my take for the day!