Going to college is not just about taking courses and getting good grades, it is also about being social and making friends - hopefully you will make one or more good friends that you will have for the rest of your life. My niece, who is enrolled at MC as I am, and I spoke about the topic of why people go to college: the different classes, the things we would change, the things we liked, our ambitions, our ups and down, etc. Mainly, we highlighted the feelings that each of us was trying to overcome lately; the inundating feelings of melancholy. I brought it up because I have not really been able to talk to many people about my feelings, not just the feeling of melancholy, but of some weird association of feeling like I am losing something special. Maybe I haven't learned the art form of not allowing myself to get so attached to people and to things. Maybe I just need to check myself and be more realistic; however, at the end of the day, I like who I am, and that I cherish things and people as I do. Once you have lost as much as I have in my own life, you will learn the other art form of appreciation. I do not overwhelm others or myself by caring too much, but I do put a lot of effort into anything I do or any relationship that I form.
Each day that we get closer to the fall semester coming to a close, I do not rejoice, instead I get a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Is it crazy for me to feel like this! (rhetorical)... I am almost embarrassed to talk to other people, especially classmates, about how I am feeling because it seems that the more I am saddened about the semester almost ending, others are overjoyed about it; furthermore, some are overtly anxious and are counting the days until the fall semester draws to a close; to most of the overly anxious, college has become blasé and cumbersome. Shame on them is all I can muster for now.
I am so glad that I brought up the topic when my niece and I were riding back home from having watched the wonderful opera, Il Barbiere de Siviglia (Rossini, 1775), yesterday afternoon. My niece drove while I basked in the comforts of her new car loving the new car smell which still permeated the interior of her beautiful car. My bad....I went off on a tangent...
Anyway, it was nice to finally talk to my niece (a.k.a. fellow MC student) who basically shared the same sentiments of melancholy that had been plaguing me lately. We spoke of the wonderful professors whose tutelage we were (respectively) privileged to have been a part of this semester. We also touched upon the many classmates that made us laugh and made some of the more difficult courses easier to deal with when the study material became arduous and demanding. Of course, we delved upon the special classmates who provided more than humorous entertainment and study-group time, we spoke fondly of the few mates who we will miss dearly; those who provided an actual friendship to us when we needed it the most. My niece agreed with me that she had made a couple of good friends in certain classes of hers - as I had done. However, neither of us is certain if we will keep ties or communication with these people, we would like to, but as with so many things in life that have two sides, what we want may not coincide with what the other person wants. In other words, we may want to keep a friendship going; however, they might not. Simple math 1+1=2, but with people, that formula gets tossed and the end result is as vague, vast, and uncertain as is infinity ∞
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