The fact: being the first in your family (first gens) to attempt being a college grad. The reality: Zoinks!...accompanied by sheer panic (but not at the disco: "Panic at the Disco," that is...LOL) Hey, it's not Clown College, but sometimes you probably wish it was. At least the pressure might not be so freakin' much if we (first gens) were trying to be clowns, right? Oh, I know the feeling all too well. The pressures placed upon us by our families does not quietly subside or magically disappear. In fact, the older we get, the more the pressure increases. But, we have more control than we sometimes allow ourselves to admit.
After surviving the initial shock of being a first gen, what do we do next? Oh the mixed feelings of trepidation and agitation and ultimately of the completion. The trepidation and agitation of what happens if the completion part goes awry, that is. The huge burden that is placed on the first gens by respective families is of epic proportions. Of course the family does not [really] mean to place such a colossal load on the first gen, but the person cannot help but feel like he/she has just been dumped into a large pool of fecal matter; much like quicksand from which there might be no return or rescue; just imminent death. Yes, we first gens tend to exaggerate. It's our coping mechanism and mad skills learned throughout the years of all the pressure. How could something so important (like being a first gen) be placed on us? Who do we as first gens turn to in order to share our feelings? Of our fears of failure and lucid thinking gone aghast. The sinking feeling at the bottom of our bellies.
Put a smoke in the pie hole and just chillax. Ugh. I hate that word: chillax. I picture an old, fat guy in his late 60s trying to be cool as he relaxes (or rather lies about relaxing when in fact, he is just plain ole lazy).
Tangent: my bad, but I am back.
Yes, first gens, welcome to the freaking club, but chillax. We totally got this. If our families place so much emphasis on us being successful, then so be it. They need to remember that whatever we do in college and as a result of college, well, it is still tenfold better than anything they might have done. I am kidding. I have complete and total respect for my family. I would never dis them like that. My attempt at humor often comes across as smart-alecky and ever so dry.
For real, though, our families must remember that all we can do is try. We are trying for them and for ourselves. In attempts to better their lives, we must especially better our own lives.
Love us or leave us, we are freaking trying so hard.
Please just stop thinking we are going to end world hunger or bring about world peace, for that is a complete and utter fallacy. Kidding, of course. If Jesus, Ghandi, and Mandela couldn't do either of the two tasks, then the rest of us have no shot in hell of doing so. What we first gens can do is improve and better the present generation so the next gen can improve even more and so on. Although I am sure many of us first gens would love to end world hunger or bring about world peace, let's get REAL, we can't do all of that! All we first gens can do is try to better the socioeconomic situation for our immediate family and ourselves. We are doing our very best (I hate the word 'very'). We all want to buy mom a new house and dad a new truck. We want to help pay for baby sis and baby bro to attend the finest schools. We all want to move from the barrios and the slums into the middle class neighborhoods or better. We want, mom wants, dad wants, baby sis wants, baby bro wants, granny wants, uncle wants. Hell, EVERYONE WANTS!
Our families need only remember a few things: we know we are first gens; we know the future of our families' financial situation is riding on us; we know the blood, sweat, and tears mom and dad have put forth (in order for us to have better opportunities) have been great; we know the prayers are often more dogmatic in nature versus what we are actually expected to do despite what G-d might/might not want; and, we know the pride of the family is heavily riding on our success.
OMG, the huge expectations we first gens have placed upon us, but in return, dear families, what are you giving in exchange (rhetorical -- or maybe not?). After everything is said and done and we (first gens) are with the sheepskin in hand and the lucrative career in the bag, what are you (our families) going to do for us? Hmm. Think heavily on that question.
Ease off, please. For we first gens are doing our best. Please stop placing all the eggs in our baskets. Sometimes the basket gets much too heavy. We really want to make you (our families) a caviar omelette, but if you push us too much and too hard, we might only be able to create scrambled eggs with lots of that excrement we feel we are deeply sinking in right about now.
Put a smoke in the pie hole and just chillax. Ugh. I hate that word: chillax. I picture an old, fat guy in his late 60s trying to be cool as he relaxes (or rather lies about relaxing when in fact, he is just plain ole lazy).
Tangent: my bad, but I am back.
Yes, first gens, welcome to the freaking club, but chillax. We totally got this. If our families place so much emphasis on us being successful, then so be it. They need to remember that whatever we do in college and as a result of college, well, it is still tenfold better than anything they might have done. I am kidding. I have complete and total respect for my family. I would never dis them like that. My attempt at humor often comes across as smart-alecky and ever so dry.
For real, though, our families must remember that all we can do is try. We are trying for them and for ourselves. In attempts to better their lives, we must especially better our own lives.
Love us or leave us, we are freaking trying so hard.
Please just stop thinking we are going to end world hunger or bring about world peace, for that is a complete and utter fallacy. Kidding, of course. If Jesus, Ghandi, and Mandela couldn't do either of the two tasks, then the rest of us have no shot in hell of doing so. What we first gens can do is improve and better the present generation so the next gen can improve even more and so on. Although I am sure many of us first gens would love to end world hunger or bring about world peace, let's get REAL, we can't do all of that! All we first gens can do is try to better the socioeconomic situation for our immediate family and ourselves. We are doing our very best (I hate the word 'very'). We all want to buy mom a new house and dad a new truck. We want to help pay for baby sis and baby bro to attend the finest schools. We all want to move from the barrios and the slums into the middle class neighborhoods or better. We want, mom wants, dad wants, baby sis wants, baby bro wants, granny wants, uncle wants. Hell, EVERYONE WANTS!
Our families need only remember a few things: we know we are first gens; we know the future of our families' financial situation is riding on us; we know the blood, sweat, and tears mom and dad have put forth (in order for us to have better opportunities) have been great; we know the prayers are often more dogmatic in nature versus what we are actually expected to do despite what G-d might/might not want; and, we know the pride of the family is heavily riding on our success.
OMG, the huge expectations we first gens have placed upon us, but in return, dear families, what are you giving in exchange (rhetorical -- or maybe not?). After everything is said and done and we (first gens) are with the sheepskin in hand and the lucrative career in the bag, what are you (our families) going to do for us? Hmm. Think heavily on that question.
Ease off, please. For we first gens are doing our best. Please stop placing all the eggs in our baskets. Sometimes the basket gets much too heavy. We really want to make you (our families) a caviar omelette, but if you push us too much and too hard, we might only be able to create scrambled eggs with lots of that excrement we feel we are deeply sinking in right about now.
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