Book of D: Melatonin and Nightmares

So once again as I made the 20-minute drive to work, I was enthralled by a Howard Stern episode on Sirius-XM Radio. He was talking about melatonin. He mentioned how it has never worked for him. He even asked his sidekick cohost, Robin Quivers, if she had ever taken melatonin and if so, had it worked for her. Quivers stated that she doesn't think she has ever tried melatonin. Stern said that he has taken about five tablets at a time, but melatonin just doesn't do anything for him. The topic of melatonin came up because of a caller who mentioned how the sleep aid product doesn't do anything for her insomnia. 

I thought about how my insomnia is affected by my moods; therefore, products like melatonin pills are not always the answer for me trying to sleep at night. There is a deeper rooted issue causing my insomnia, so the answer is not going to be simple. Moreover, I recalled from grad school instruction that the brain produces the hormone melatonin as a response to darkness. It coincides with the timing of the circadian rhythms and sleep, which means that getting exposed to light at night can block melatonin production. Consequently, if there is an underlying issue, like with me having anxiety and OCD, the synthetic hormone melatonin is just a band-aid. If it's a natural melatonin OTC, it probably comes from the pineal gland of an animal, which is still a band-aid. I remember the last time I took five melatonin pills, and I did get sleepy but I turned on my cell phone or tv and it completely ruined my ability to get proper sleep and rest. I was a sh¡t show of productivity the entire nextday. I was restless and unable to focus. I was too worried the night before about something (I don't even recall what it was), that it kept me from wanting to let the sleep aid do its job.

Other times, melatonin hasn't worked, but I am certain that I just didn't take enough. Most doctors say it is okay to take between three to five pills at once despite the directions on most melatonin bottles usually recommending only one pill at a time. Besides, taking anything synthetic for too long without a doctor's recommendation and supervision is just asking for trouble. I say always find the source of an issue and deal with that first. Melatonin has worked for me in the past, don't get me wrong. I don't want to be adversarial to those whom are aided by it. But, I do recall having minor effects (i.e. nightmares) when I did consume the sleep aid pills. I didn't take melatonin last night, but it sure did feel like it because I had some pretty awful nightmares. They were the kind that happen as a nightmare within a nightmare. Probably like the nightmares that Steven King has except he has an incredible talent for penning his nightmares and dreams into stories on paper. I wish I had that gift. Anytime I try to write down my dreams and nightmares, my OCD interrupts and I get caught up in spelling, grammar, word definition, syntax, and it just makes what may have been an interesting story turn into something boring like an instruction manual. You see . . . I did it again, I tripped into a tangent and failed to describe the nightmare. Let's just say that the nightmare was upsetting and surreal. In my nightmare last night, a friend died in a fire. I do not know who the friend was, but I was very upset by her death. Yeah, I do remember it was a female friend. My spouse, who was just my friend in the dream - we had not yet started dating, knew about the fire, and instead of coming to tell me about it, she went to her ex. My late mom even made an appearance in the dream. I think Mom was taking everyone else's side over mine. I don't even remember what everyone was arguing about. I just remember waking up with a headache and feeling shaken up. I did rethink the night before to make sure I had not taken melatonin, and I know I didn't. Then, driving to campus this morning for work and listening to Stern's episode about insomnia and melatonin was just too hokey for me. Kismet or serendipity? I don't know.